Post Date December, 03 2023
"My husband has gone too far! He always thinks I don't understand anything, so he underestimates me!" Xiao Zhang started complaining as soon as he saw me. She said that she and her husband are both masters and classmates. People around them feel that they are highly educated and cultivated, making them a natural pair. "However, our married life is not happy." Many couples like Xiao Zhang report that couples with high education have more problems, even surpassing those with low or middle education. Moreover, the breakup rate of this "combination" has also been rising in recent years. Why is it more difficult for a highly educated marriage to be harmonious?
Easily negate the other party
In fact, many highly educated people often neglect the importance of cultivating marital relationships for various reasons, resulting in a lack of wisdom in dealing with marital issues. Marriage is a state of "symbiosis" in which both spouses must appropriately control their strong self awareness and understand and tolerate each other. From a psychological perspective, highly educated couples have stronger self-awareness and are more likely to negate and belittle each other.
Moreover, some highly educated people who have become experts in a certain field due to their cultivation are more likely to excessively adhere to themselves in marriage and have difficulty accepting the views of the other party. They often suppress each other in order to prove the correctness of their views.
Emotional intelligence is disproportionate
Marriage is actually a dance for two, where two people must adjust their steps to match each other's dance steps. To complete this dance, it requires not only high intelligence, but also high emotional intelligence. Many highly educated couples end up as solo dancers because their IQ and EQ are disproportionate. Academic elites in a certain field often have high IQ, but their emotional intelligence in dealing with emotional issues may be very low.
The cultivation of emotional intelligence often requires constant communication with others. People with high emotional intelligence can freely experience, regulate, and express their emotions, while sensing, accepting, and regulating the emotions of others, ultimately achieving emotional resonance between adults. Wonderful love is often the product of high emotional resonance. If you always argue about who is right and who is wrong in your marriage, you are dealing with emotions in the same way that you deal with intellectual issues. No wonder there are so many disputes.
Life and career should be separated
To achieve a high-quality marriage, highly educated couples need to overcome the obstacle of "intellectualizing everything", learn to rest their minds in their emotional lives, and be able to freely communicate and resonate with their partners emotionally. You need to learn to perceive and recognize your partner's feelings, while releasing your emotions and sharing them with them.
On the other hand, highly educated people should pay attention to separating their lives from their careers. At work, you can stick to your own point of view; But in the family, you need to humble your strong self so that you can hear the voice in your partner's heart and form a sense of empathy with him or her. In addition, in marriage life, it is necessary to be gentle. When you handle problems in a loving way, things will not be so complicated.
