Post Date December, 03 2023
Marriage is not a fast-food style of love. Both husband and wife are the helmsmen of the marriage boat, and no one can do without each other. They need to maintain balance and emphasize cooperation and complementarity. Marriage emphasizes fine management, and the period of adjustment is also indispensable. Just like a company, it also faces more or less problems. The focus is to develop methods and strategies to improve and transform bad situations based on the actual situation.
Faced with unstable marriages, many people lack patience and waiting power. They either take the opportunity to give up or procrastinate until their marriage is completely shattered and cannot be saved, only then can they understand the recklessness and irrationality of the beginning. Marriage is maintained by mature emotions and strengthened by good psychology, not just an absolute question of right or wrong. People who talk about divorce and blurt it out are seen as irresponsible towards their marriage and family.
Based on the misleading methods of saving marriage that have emerged in reality, these can be summarized as follows:
1. Narrowly minded, reminiscing about old things.
Some people know that what they say is like spilled water, which cannot be retrieved, can harm the other party, and has no effect, but they just can't help it. If in a marriage, the husband or wife has stayed up all night or went to sing, dance, drink with friends, etc., they have a barrier in their hearts. Every time they have conflicts with the other party, they flip through this old account and don't forget to add oil and vinegar, causing the other party to be particularly troubled and depressed, and even angry. In terms of empathy, people hope that some mistakes can be forgiven and understood, and do not like to be constantly suspected and criticized. Doing so will only lead to negative emotions, which is not conducive to the harmony of the marriage relationship and affects the stability of the marriage.
2. Usual Cold War strategy.
The most precious quality between couples is communication and trust. There is still a chance to be forgiven for a cold war or two. If the cold war continues for a long time, the couple will be strangers, silent when meeting, unable to speak on the phone, or even separated from each other, which will gradually turn a problem that was not a big problem into an irreparable dilemma. A rational person will not easily face a cold war, but will quickly identify problems, present them, and solve them.
3. Mechanically applying other people's marriage patterns.
When parents educate their children in learning, they always use their friends from other families or children as a reference to their classmates, emphasizing how hard and excellent others are. Many couples also resort to the technique of transplanting flowers and trees, casually comparing their spouse with others' husbands or wives, and resenting their spouse's various shortcomings. Marriage requires one to have the initiative and management power on their own. Each family has their own important thoughts and follows their own path. There is almost no standardized marriage, and assimilation marriage has no unique significance.
4. Attempting an extramarital affair to transfer emotions.
More extreme people choose to avoid dealing with slightly complex issues, and extramarital affairs can also be considered a way to avoid marital issues. When one party is found to have an infidelity, their psychological state becomes chaotic and they unreasonably follow the infidelity, with a strong sense of revenge. Some people feel that there are too many trivialities in their marriage life, gradually getting tired of the stereotypical marriage model, killing off the fun and seeking excitement outside, ultimately leading to the breakdown of their marriage.
5. A stubborn and unyielding personality, never yielding.
Although a person's personality has many innate components, the acquired environment and the influence of people and things around them can also have an impact on their personality. If two people do not compromise with each other in marriage, if you argue with me, the marital life will also be more tiring and the quality will be greatly reduced.
