Post Date April, 15 2023
Women's feelings about their first sexual life are either positive or negative, which is closely related to their feelings. That is to say, although most women will bleed and have varying degrees of pain at the first time, women will regard this experience as an obligation and therefore have a sense of belonging because of the good feelings of both parties in sexual life; If the feelings of both parties are not good, it will aggravate the sense of disgust.
Girls' initial experience of talking about sex
1、 The first experience is based on positive feelings - sense of obligation and sense of belonging
"The first time life is very painful, especially painful. I really accept it for love, because love has to endure and pay. He can't bear it anymore, and said, look at your pain. After the first time, I feel that people in the world have changed. When I see a person in the street, I think that he will do that thing in the evening, as if he saw the other side of the person."
"After our marriage, our sex life has not been successful. It took several days to succeed. There was no pleasure, only psychological satisfaction."
"After we registered, we had sexual relations, and there was no wedding at that time. For the first time, we felt nothing but pain. There was a feeling that we were adults from now on."
"We didn't feel anything at the first time. We felt a little nervous and didn't hurt very much. We came here confused."
"My first sexual life was 21 years old, just before marriage. I didn't feel particularly painful. I didn't have sex with him before marriage. Before marriage, he worried about his bad health and thought he was too old (over 30 years old) , neurasthenia and sentimentality. He was under great psychological pressure on his wedding day. He shot it that night without putting it in. He said at that time: I can't, we have to divorce. It took about a month after marriage to really make it. I feel a little pain and bleed a little. He has a small penis and is not strong physically, so he is under great psychological pressure. "
"The first time it hurts, and then it hurts sometimes. The first time he won't and I won't. My wife's moral quality is impeccable. Their family is a revolutionary family, and they don't talk about anything except orthodox education, so we don't know anything. We don't even know how to have sex. At that time, we can't find any books, and my mother won't tell us.
He couldn't find a place for the first time. I was in great pain at that time, and finally I succeeded. After turning on the light and seeing the blood, he said: You are still a virgin. (At that time, someone in the factory said that I was not serious and had a bad reputation.) Of course, my first sexual life was after marriage, and I didn't feel any pain. At first, he was not skilled, and the hymen seemed to break later. "
"I remember that the first time I didn't let him do it, I could do anything else I wanted because I didn't want to have children. He said that it was very rare for me to do it. Then I took the pill before I dared to do it. I didn't have any impression on this first time. It didn't seem to hurt, and I didn't know about orgasm. He didn't know either."
A woman who gave her first time to a married man described her feelings like this: that day he came to my dormitory, that was my first time. He pressed me on the bed and felt a little pain after entering. Before that, I only knew that men wanted to enter women's bodies, but I didn't know where to go. After he entered, I had a sense of integration. In my opinion, that is to say, we are going to live together and have a feeling of 'I am his person'.
2、 First experience is dominated by negative feelings - aversion
Most of the women who have a feeling of disgust and pain when recalling their first life experience have either divorced or have a bad relationship with their husbands. From this point of view, sexual life is closely related to the feelings of husband and wife, but it is difficult to say which is the cause and which is the result of the two; It is very likely that they are mutually cause-and-effect - they hate sex because of bad feelings; And because the bad impression of sex life aggravates the deterioration of the relationship between husband and wife.
A divorced woman recalled her first sexual life in this way: "The first sexual experience felt bad. I didn't fall in love with him before we got married. I didn't like him very much at the beginning, and felt awkward. His first sexual life peed on me (Beijing slang: all) I was very impressed by my urine. I didn't like sex later. I have never been touched, loved, and humiliated. "
"The first time was very painful, bleeding, and not very successful. He didn't let me sleep that night, and did it four times. The last time I cried, sat up and said to him," What are you doing? "
"The first time I didn't feel pain, he was premature ejaculation. I was disgusted. Although I didn't say it, he could feel it. So far this time, I haven't seen male genitals, only children. I feel very stimulated."
"For the first time, I was scared, hurt, shocked, disliked, unhappy, and uncomfortable. The most I like men is to hug and touch them."
Some women feel bad about their first experience, not because of their aversion to the thing itself, but because the object of the first sexual relationship is not the husband but the lover, and the psychological pressure is too high: "My first time is not with my husband. At that time, I was not young. I remember that when we kissed, I was very scared and hated others, and felt that he had hurt me.
I feel that it is a kind of instinctive fear, which is related to the Chinese-style education I received when I was young. I rejected this matter at first. He begged me, but I refused all the time. Finally, I couldn't refuse to do it. In fact, his traditional moral concept is also very strong. We are just ordinary boyfriend and girlfriend. He has a wife. I still take the first time seriously. "
Although women have different feelings about their first sexual experience, most of them attach great importance to it, because it is the "first" in their life experience after all. There are many "firsts" in one's life. I remember a mother said how she observed the "firsts" of children with joy: the first time to speak, the first time to walk, the first time to read, and so on. However, in the eyes of many women, the first time of life has different meanings from other "first time" - losing virginity, becoming "adult", becoming a different kind of person than before; This feeling should be regarded as mainly psychological rather than physical. That is to say, the difference between this "first time" and other "first times" mainly comes from the social norms and the special significance given by society for sexual behavior (such as the concept of virginity, etc.).
To the girl: What should I do in the beginning?
You can't expect him to know how to make you feel comfortable. You must tell him or show it to him, which means that you should take some initiative and take his hand to a position that can make you feel comfortable. take your time. If this is his first time, he may feel nervous about what you are going to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness and understanding are the ways to revive it. It may not be easy for you to do this, but that is why we tell you to give yourself more time.
Does it hurt?
Perhaps you have heard many terrible stories about how painful it is to lose your virginity. For some women, it is painful, but if you have the right contact and the right partner, you can put the penis into your body without pain. Let him slowly, use lubricating oil, slowly press his fingers into your body, and slowly relax you. Tell him when he feels comfortable and when he feels uncomfortable.
What position should I take?
Many women like to be in the upper position to control the movement when they have sex for the first time. Others prefer to be subordinate and give control to their lovers. Find the best position for you. Just remember to tell him to take it slowly and not in a hurry. If you think it is necessary, you can use lubricants such as KY Jelly.
To the boy: What if I can't have an erection?
It sounds funny, but your penis, which has been working normally for several years, may give you a fatal blow when you can have real sex for the first time. That's normal - because you're too nervous. Take a deep breath. Do other things with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget your anxiety and your penis will respond. This is only a temporary problem.
If I am a virgin, should I tell her?
Many men believe that because they are men, they must master the dominance of sexual behavior, regardless of who has rich experience. If you are a virgin and she is not a virgin, then tell her to let her dominate if she wants. Learning to gain experience is also a manifestation of love. Don't be afraid to admit the truth. Many women prefer you to be inexperienced rather than foolish, and they will be happy to guide you to the way to that world.
Will we climax at the same time?
Don't worry about whether they reach climax at the same time. Some women can't have an orgasm during sex, or even if your girlfriend can have an orgasm, there is no way to ensure that you can have an orgasm at the same time. Enjoy yourself and trust what she tells you about her feelings.
(Intern editor: Chen Hao)
