I am a fresh graduate from a university in Xi'an in 2008, and my husband is a college classmate. When I was in college, I chose a major where there were very few girls in the class. I looked relatively innocent, so I stood out in the class. There were many boys who pursued me sincerely, and my husband was also one of them. His low-key yet humorous spirit of perseverance moved me. After three years of college life, we lived like a fish in water without any pressure.
Before graduating from college, he proposed to me. On my birthday, he hid his proposal ring in a cake. Although the proposal was a bit clich é d, I was still moved. In front of many people, he knelt down on one knee and proposed to me. I am very moved and feel that God is taking care of me. In this lush era, I met the person who loves me the most. As soon as we graduated, we held a wedding. For him, I gave up the job that my family found to support relationships and went to work with my husband in a strange city. My family feels sorry for me, but I don't think there's anything wrong. With this husband, this life is enough!
Just entering society, finding a job is really difficult. Those companies see our immature faces and refuse to give them a chance. After a lot of effort, I found a civil service job and my husband found a sales job. Although the salary is not high, I am very pleased that the two of us can work together every night. He has formulated a five-year plan to create a world within five years, and I support him very much. He doesn't worry about anything at home. I work while taking care of household chores. Although the house is rented, it is very cozy.
A few years passed in a blink of an eye, and my husband's work was on track. I nurtured a child for him and also adopted an abstinence mode towards him. He sometimes acts coquettishly and says, 'My wife wants children, not my husband. When the baby is born, I will teach him a lesson.'. Next, I will say seriously, "Don't worry, wife, I will give you and your baby a good life. I am very happy in my heart. In front of my friends, I often show off my husband, and seeing their envious eyes makes me feel so proud.
My husband has strong abilities and has been promoted to become a leader in the company. The number of business trips has also become frequent, and I don't do any business trips. I usually simply pack my luggage for him. But I never expected that he would cheat.
I was so happy that he came back from a business trip. With a big belly, he circled around the room, anxiously waiting for him until he returned at eight or nine in the evening. As soon as I entered the door, I gave him a big hug. I leaned over him. His shirt was mixed with a strange smell in addition to the smell of sweat. When I tasted it carefully, it was perfume. He seldom uses perfume and occasionally plays with my perfume. Women are very sensitive to this smell. I have never used this perfume before. Where does it come from? I casually asked, 'Why are you so fragrant?' He suddenly froze. After a second or two, he smiled and said, 'The smell of soap.' After that, he took off his clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower. His phone was casually placed on the table.
I have some doubts about his nervous behavior, and with curiosity, I picked up his phone to check. In WeChat, someone just sent a text message. After opening it, a lot of ambiguous words in it became more and more wrong. I followed her message and talked back, and she said, "When you left, your shirt was soaked and smelled of sweat. How did you feel when I sprayed perfume on your clothes?"
I felt like my blood vessels were about to explode and it was difficult to breathe. I went directly to the bathroom and questioned him. He stood in front of me with his bare body, with a large kiss mark on his chest. He was dumbfounded, holding a towel to cover it up. I cried, tearing my heart and lungs apart. He quickly came over to explain to me that if he drank too much, he would act up and not take it seriously. I beat him over and over again, but he didn't fight back and let me vent. Due to poor breath, I fainted and woke up lying in the hospital with a flat stomach, which gave me a big shock. My husband told me that the child was born prematurely and was kept in a incubator, which was not a big deal. I breathed a sigh of relief. He took my hand and apologized to me, asking me to forgive him. I turned my head and couldn't help but shed tears.
The greatest pain in the world is the betrayal of a loved one. The child is full moon, and I still cannot persuade and forgive him. Sometimes, seeing his gentle gaze at the child, I wanted to make peace with him, but the kiss marks on his chest flashed in my mind that night, and I hated him very much. What should I do, the lingering shadow of infidelity, how should I let go?
Reply from Weiqing Consultant:
Nowadays, there are too many temptations. According to common sense, men cannot vent their desires during their wives' pregnancy. Abstinence is indeed very difficult for them, and once they cannot resist it, it is easy to go downhill. From your account, it can be seen that you have a special trust in him, allowing him to travel with peace of mind and not exerting any pressure on him. Do you know what men during abstinence need most? Naturally, it is a sexual release. When encountering a woman who tempts him, his self-control is too low, and he finds it difficult to control himself. Perhaps as he said, they were just playing games together.
You hate him because you have feelings for him, "the depth of love and the depth of hatred," I believe you can understand this truth. The kiss marks on his chest that night often come to mind, it's really difficult to forgive him. So leaving, you can't give up this relationship, after all, you made many sacrifices for him back then, and you don't want this sacrifice to become a piece of empty talk. It's too unfair for you to suppress yourself so much. If you want to continue this marriage, you might as well be honest with your husband. The cold war really won't solve anything.
Everyone makes mistakes, and the key lies in their attitude of correction. If it's just a momentary obsession, you should give him a chance. The baby has already been born, do not let the child grow up in this environment. He should receive the thoughtful care of his parents, rather than just seeing their cold faces at birth. The foundation of marriage is the fusion of the hearts and minds of the couple. I hope you can reconcile as soon as possible.