Post Date December, 03 2023
The wife filed for divorce because of her husband's frequent suspicion of cheating and unbearable. Such things are not uncommon in life. This explains the common psychology that husband always suspects his wife's cheating.
The husband always suspects that his wife is cheating
Questions:
Mr. Fang had a dispute with his wife over a trivial matter, and his wife insisted on divorce. He once asked his parents and parents-in-law to help him, but it was ineffective.
The basic situation is that Mr. Fang and his wife have been married for more than ten years, and now have two children. The fuse of this divorce is that Mr. Fang once again suspects that his wife has an affair. The wife's explanation is difficult to persuade Mr. Fang, and the two people cannot argue. Finally, the wife wants to divorce to get rid of it. In fact, during his love and marriage, Mr. Fang was a little uneasy about his wife, always worried that she would fall in love with others and betray himself. In the past year, suspicion has become more and more serious. I always suspect that my wife's relationship with a friend of the opposite sex is abnormal. I check my wife's mobile phone and WeChat chat records every day. My wife will call me to ask if she comes back late or the time is "wrong". I think I love my wife very much, but I am not understood by her.
Now his wife has a cold attitude and is determined to divorce and does not listen to his parents' persuasion. He loves his wife very much and wants to save his marriage. He also wrote a letter of guarantee to ensure that he will trust his wife in the future and will not be confused. But the wife no longer believes in herself and is unwilling to give opportunities. Mr. Fang felt anxious and helpless. He was afraid that his wife would really leave him. At the same time, he was also worried about whether his wife fell in love with others and was indifferent to himself, regardless of children. I want to communicate with my wife, but she doesn't want to listen and is very upset.
Expert opinions:
Such cases are not uncommon. There was once a couple who announced the dissolution of their marriage after three years of marriage. The reason for the divorce was that the husband had extreme distrust of his wife. As soon as the wife went out, the husband would check her personal clothes. If he found that there were many secretions, he would find out and chase after her. Having lived in a tense atmosphere of paranoia for a long time, the wife could not bear it. She felt that her husband was mentally ill. Finally, the string of marriage finally broke before the human nerve broke. Why men are so paranoid? Let's talk about it briefly.
1. Men are afraid of green hats
Men are more intolerable than women to their partner's cheating. It is a great shame for a man to wear a green hat. From a psychological point of view, this is the "insecurity" hidden in the heart of men. The surface of this "insecurity" is the fear of his wife making peace with other men behind his back. The underlying reason is the anxiety about male identity and male charm.
2. Rich imagination, trapped in psychological circle
He showed strong antipathy to the men around his wife. Colleagues, classmates, friends and even relatives, as long as they are male and get along with each other more frequently, especially those who have more opportunities to be mentioned by their wives, will be "blacklisted". Carrying this "blacklist", he took pains to study and arrange the contact frequency, site and time between his wife and these "suspicious objects"; The imagination is rich, and it can expand infinite imagination with only a small detail. The theme is "she has cheated". For a long time, she is in a high state of vigilance and vigilance, and always feels that "there is such a thing", but always can't grasp the handle (she feels that the other party is too cunning, and she should be more alert, and she needs to look closer to get "clues").
On the other hand, they are stubborn in thinking and have flaws in logic, but they are convinced. If you have sex, you will inevitably leave a large amount of secretions on your clothes. Therefore, the presence of secretions indicates that the wife has sex. The husband's "virginity detection method" is straightforward, but he forgot that this reasoning lacks the necessary conditions: the increase of female lower secretion is due to many aspects, including sexual activities (including sexual imagination), gynecological diseases, intense physical exercise, etc. However, for the husband, "secretion" became the "substitute" of his distrust mentality, forming a psychological circle of "secretion"="cheating", which made it difficult for him to jump out of his own psychological circle. The husband always suspects that his wife is cheating for several reasons:
Virgin complex
When getting married, the wife was "suspicious" or very clear that she was not her first lover
Emotional trauma
Having been split or abandoned in the previous relationship or marriage, it is difficult to trust women, forming unreasonable belief that "women are all bad", "women are all children", "women all like men with strong sexual ability" and so on. Another situation is that I have been cheating and feel that people will change when they meet, so I am worried that others will treat me like this.
Family issues
There are adulterers in the family, for example, the parents or grandparents have had an affair in their marriage, the parents or brothers and sisters of their partner have had an affair or acted as a third party, so they are worried that their marriage will also repeat the mistakes.
Remarried couple
Both of them have a marriage history and have different degrees of "re love experience"; Or one side is junior high.
Inferiority complex
This situation is generally due to the extroversion of the woman, who is much more "romantic" than the man in her career and work, and there is a phenomenon that women are stronger than men.
Hearsay
Be teased by the people around you, and be wary of your own people everywhere.
My husband always suspects that his wife has an affair. Is this a disease
1. The husband always suspects that his wife has an affair, which is a sign of paranoia. Paranoia is to be suspicious and anxious all day long, and to make random inference and judgment, which is commonly called paranoid. Not to the extent of mental illness. The wife should pay more attention to her caring husband, be frank with him, communicate more, do not do things that make the other party suspicious, and speak and do things openly, so that he can participate in his own activities together, so as to eliminate his doubts and promote the harmony between husband and wife.
2. Excessive suspicion to affect normal life and work is personality paranoia, which requires psychological treatment. This may be related to the influence of the original family or past experience, and further communication is needed to explore the root causes behind it.
3. Hello, according to your description of your husband's situation, I think you can initially consider the enemy for lack of effective communication. This may be due to the lack of effective husband and wife communication with your husband at ordinary times, which makes it easy for you and your husband to misunderstand each other unnecessarily and even complain about each other. In addition, due to practical reasons, your husband can't resolve his misunderstanding of you, It is easy to make your husband suspect you, including cheating. Therefore, I suggest that at present, you should try to do a good job of self-psychological adjustment, learn to communicate with your husband effectively, and establish a mutual trust relationship with your husband. If your husband still suspects you have an affair for no reason through your efforts, then you need to consider sending your husband to the psychiatric department of the hospital for further examination and diagnosis.
4. The situation you said is considered to be the situation of psychological obstacles. It is suggested that you can adjust your mind and give psychological counseling treatment.
Always suspect that your husband has an affair, which may be a manifestation of your inner inferiority complex, lack of self-confidence and insecurity. Such psychological characteristics are projected on your husband, causing you to distrust him and become suspicious. Love is based on mutual understanding and trust. Doubt is the killer of feelings. You always doubt your husband without foundation. If you don't trust him, your husband will be very uncomfortable and uneasy, which will affect the stability of feelings. It is recommended that you learn more about your husband, improve your relationship with him, and trust his personality.
