Post Date December, 03 2023
The great responsibility and fear of being a father make it impossible for you to enjoy a family with children at first. If you learn to play a positive role - changing diapers, taking a bath, and coaxing children to sleep, you will soon feel relaxed and confident.
A feeling of neglect
It is a very simple fact that every inch of the mother's time will be taken up in the first few weeks of the baby's birth. Therefore, fathers often feel neglected and even jealous. It is normal for babies to take the place of their husbands and become the new life center of their wives. Tell your wife how you feel when you have resentment and cause the relationship to deteriorate. You can also play a more active role in caring for babies.
Things easy to ignore
Many new fathers mistakenly believe that their wives can cope with all this without any help. So when you find your wife is very dependent on you, you will be surprised. The wife will rely on you as long as she knows you are around. If you feel excluded because you can't feed, your wife should probably squeeze some milk into the bottle so that you can help feed even in the middle of the night.
Afraid of hurting the baby
Babies seem to be fragile little things, so many men dare not do anything except hold babies. Those men with younger brothers and sisters are not so. In fact, as long as the baby's head is not dropped, the general fall will not hurt the baby. In order to overcome the fear of hurting the baby, you can watch your wife or midwife take care of the baby, and then try to bathe the baby, help your wife take care of the baby, and let her have a rest.
Gradually understand the baby
If you can take care of the baby with love every day - changing his diaper, bathing him, patting him, talking to him, etc., this kind of contact all day will make you feel more and more close to him.
The husband's reaction to his wife's pregnancy
The husband has different reactions to his wife's pregnancy: he has a sense of protection for his wife, a growing sense of pride in his marriage, a sense of pride in his male reproductive ability (this is a problem that men are always worried about to some extent), and he is happy to look forward to the early birth of a child, etc. However, they also have a potential feeling of being left out (like a child's feeling of being abandoned after discovering that his mother is pregnant), which can be expressed in the form of rough treatment of his wife, or hoping to get together with his male friends in the evening, or flirting with other women, etc. These reactions are of no benefit to the wife because she hopes to get more support from her husband at the beginning of this strange life.
It is easy for fathers to experience a feeling of being left out before and after their children are born in the hospital. He helped to send his wife safely to the hospital, where many people took care of her. Therefore, unless doctors and nurses allow him to enter the waiting room and delivery room, he is really alone in the hospital. He sat in the waiting room, flipping through several back issues of magazines, worried about whether his wife's delivery was smooth. After his wife gave birth, he returned to his incredibly lonely home. No wonder the husband would take this opportunity to have a drink with friends in the bar. He will receive a little attention in his work unit, but most of the time he is used by his colleagues as a joke. When he went to the hospital to visit his wife and children, the hospital did not let him feel that he was the head of the family. He was only a general visitor, and only allowed him to visit the mother and son at a certain time. When it was time to take the mother and son home, everyone was concerned about the baby, and he seemed to play a major role as a porter. I said that this does not mean that my father expects to be the center of attention, or should be noticeable at this time, but that his father is more likely to feel insignificant and dispensable at this time, so he will feel discouraged. If the husband actively goes to experience childbirth with his wife, he is unlikely to have the above feeling of frustration.
The husband can now play an indispensable role in the wife's pregnancy and childbirth
He can accompany his wife to the hospital for prenatal examination and listen to delivery lectures. He can actively witness the whole delivery process, and in some hospitals, he can also watch the birth of the baby, watch the nurse cut the umbilical cord or take the baby to the nursery, and watch the baby while his wife is under the care of the nurse in the delivery room. His contact with his mother and son during hospitalization should not be restricted. If the wife feels uncomfortable or the baby has any special problems, he can also actively participate in the care of the baby and become the most active person to care for the baby within a few hours after birth. Therefore, he was not a self-pitying, unhappy bystander.
Husband's support and help If a father finds that his feelings for his wife and baby are sometimes extremely complex during his wife's pregnancy, during the messy whole delivery process, and after both mother and son return home from the hospital, he should not be surprised. However, he should remind himself that he may not be as emotional as his wife, especially after returning home from the hospital. The wife's body has undergone a great change; She had a baby for the first time, so she couldn't help worrying. Raising a child means that she needs to spend a lot of energy and energy. All this means that most wives need a lot of support and comfort from their husbands at this time. The wife should get more help and comfort from her husband than usual, so that she can make more sacrifices for the baby.
The husband should help take care of the baby, help with housework, and even give more emotional support: patience, understanding, respect, and love. If the wife is tired and upset, she may not be in the mood to thank her husband for his efforts, or even complain. In this way, her husband's work may be very difficult to do. However, if he knew how much his wife wanted his love and help, he would give his wife a hand and offer sincere love anyway.
