Post Date December, 03 2023
Men love to be spoiled
Men play a strong role in society. While the society has given them more power and responsibilities, it has also given them more pressure. Home is a warm and relaxed gas port for men, where they show their other side.
Scene 1: Mr. Zhang opened the door with a smile on his face. His face was bright red.
"Must be drinking!" His wife was considerate. "People who don't like drinking at ordinary times, what's the matter today? There must be something happy!"
"A happy event, a happy event, a big one." Mr. Zhang could not find his wife in his arms, and fell down on the sofa. "Guess what the happy event is? I tell you, my thesis won the first prize! Good, good!"
The wife smiled more brightly: "I said you can, look, let me get it right. I know my husband's level best."
Hearing this, Mr. Zhang was more excited and jumped up from the sofa again, dancing like a child, expressing his feelings
The husband has paid too much for the research, which should make him happy. The wife handed her husband a glass of water and smiled. She knew that it was her lucky to be a good audience at this time.
Scene 2: Mr. Cheng, who is over the age of doubt, has struggled for half his life, has gone through ups and downs, and is ready to experience hardships. My daughter graduated from college, and she was supposed to enter a company, which was just short of professionals in this field. I was about to report for duty. Unexpectedly, I suddenly heard that I would wait. Only after careful inquiry did I know that I had been beaten! In the evening, my daughter went to a friend's house. Mr. Cheng and his wife brought up this topic, and the bumpy memories came rushing like the tide of opening the gate. Facing his wife, Mr. Cheng looked back on the hardships of struggle and the ups and downs of his fate, and sighed at the family affairs. He could not help crying, and even could not help crying.
The wife held her husband's head in her arms, and while shedding tears, she gently trimmed his messy hair. Gradually the husband calmed down. Men don't shed tears lightly. They are not intimate women. They have no fate to appreciate the earth-shaking truth of men's grief.
Scene 3: Moonlight is like water, and Mr. Liu is holding his wife in the soft sofa to be a loyal audience for TV. Suddenly, Mr. Liu turned around and went into his wife's arms: "Today I'm tired. You rub my waist, here, here..." The wife smiled, and she knew that her husband was no longer an iron man, but wanted to be caressed by others. She hugged her husband's body and rubbed his waist like a kind mother comforting her young child. Her husband is so gentle and tender in her arms, and looks happy and comfortable.
Women need not doubt, and men need not be angry. To be fair, as long as you have entered a marriage, most men have played similar scenes, and most women have played similar roles.
At the front stage of marriage, men and women play their respective roles. As for the backstage of marriage, it is difficult for others to see, and men are even more secretive. We are used to positioning men in the image of the previous stage, so even those lucky enough to enter the backstage of men's life will ignore the original backstage image of men. Men also seem to ignore their own side. So we need to read men again.
A survey found that there is an interesting phenomenon in more than 1000 families of different countries, different races, different educational backgrounds, different age characteristics, and different income levels: the probability of men acting spoiled in the home is far higher than that of their wives and children. In other words, it is likely that all adult men in the world have higher vulnerability and comfort needs than women or even children.
Men also love to be spoiled. Why? In fact, it is not difficult to understand.
Men are spoiled because they have an Oedipus complex.
Everyone has a weak side, and everyone has the need for comfort. So who is the most suitable person to meet their needs for comfort? Mother, of course. This is the imprint left by our brain from the beginning of life, and in the future, our mother has repeatedly strengthened this imprint with her own actions. So a complex formed in the subconscious mind: mother is a person who unconditionally cares for us, nourishes us and comforts us. We have formed an attachment to our mother, who has become the object of our petting. But mothers can't accompany us for life, so we subconsciously regard people who are similar to mothers and play the role of mothers as mothers. This "mother" can be any person, not fixed. For example, a daughter can become a mother's psychological "mother", and a brother can also become a sister's psychological "mother". Although sometimes the husband may become the wife's psychological "mother", more often the wife becomes the husband's psychological "mother". In the division of gender roles, women themselves have the characteristics of motherhood. This difference in gender roles is one of the reasons why men are more likely to act spoiled in front of women.
Moreover, petting is the need of psychological adjustment.
Although we have repeatedly stressed the equality of men and women, we cannot deny that men have always played a strong social role. When the image of the strong brings some privileges to men, it also brings more psychological pressure to men. Men have received such education since childhood: you are a man, and a man should be strong. At home, even in the most fashionable families, it is unavoidable to regard men as the psychological center of the family. Many ordinary families regard men as the backbone of their families, and when encountering wind and rain, men are the first to protect them from the wind and rain. You are the strong, and the strong is the social role of men. However, the role of men is only the product of social culture. Men are not cast iron. In nature, like women, they have a weak side, and they are all suffering from spiritual pain and desire to be comforted. Moreover, because men have to play the social role of the strong, they have to bear more life pressure than women, and there are few opportunities to vent in public. People always need psychological self-regulation, so when they return home, men will expose their fragile side to their "psychological mother" to obtain spiritual comfort. Therefore, men are more likely to act spoiled in front of their wives.
Therefore, understanding men and being nice to men is women's wisdom in facing life.
