Post Date December, 03 2023
1、 You care more about each other
You are in love, but not sure what the other person thinks; You think you are suitable, but he seems to disagree; You miss him very much when he is away. He seems to be the same when you are away. What does that mean?
"If two people are not concentric, how can they go together?" Sometimes there will be situations where one party loves the other more. If there is a sound relationship, there will be alternating phenomenon. The two people take turns in playing the role of pursuing and being pursued; But if one party always plays the role of pursuer, such feelings are not sound. If you continue to be hungry for love, you will feel controlled by the other party, and you will feel angry, deceived and painful.
2、 You love each other's potential
What you love is the potential of the other party, not the real appearance of the other party, and what you love is the possible future appearance of the other party, so he is not your partner at all, but the object of your transformation.
Every time we do premarital counseling, we will ask, if the other party will not change in 50 years, will you be satisfied? If you have always wanted to change the other party, and then you feel more satisfied, it is not love, but gambling, using the happiness of both parties as a bet.
When you associate with a person, you should love and respect the other person's original appearance, not his future appearance. You can expect him to continue to grow, but you must be satisfied with his present appearance.
3、 You want to help each other
Do you often feel sorry for each other? Do you feel that you have the responsibility to help the other party cheer up? Are you afraid that if you leave the other party, he will be overwhelmed? If so, I'm afraid you are a "rescue maniac".
The "rescue maniac" will not find a suitable object, but an object he sympathizes with and can help. Find a person who has been wounded, vulnerable, dependent, unloved and wronged, and you will be grateful to him for his love from compassion. Such feelings are like a rescue task, not a sound and balanced one.
The key to remember here is "respect". The object you love must be the person you can respect. You must be proud of each other. Your partner does not want your help, but wants you to really understand him.
4、 Treat each other as an object of worship
Young female stars fall in love with directors, college students fall in love with professors, secretaries fall in love with bosses... and fall in love with the objects they adore, which is difficult to maintain normal feelings, because they cannot be treated equally.
Both men and women must be treated equally. I don't mean status, but attitude. We can't worship each other too much. People who fall in love with the objects they worship usually have low self-confidence and feel bad about themselves.
5、 You're just attracted by the other person's appearance
Everyone will, right? If you find yourself deeply attracted by the other person's characteristics, ask yourself, if the other person doesn't have those big blue eyes and magnetic voice... if the other person is not a model and can't play basketball... will I still be with him (her)?
6、 A brief opportunity to get along day and night
You share a certain job with the other party and often have to work overtime together, so you feel in love with the other party. You went on vacation for three weeks and met a man who also came on vacation. You feel like falling in love. A short day and night together means to get together under special circumstances. It is not a routine. This kind of feeling cannot last, because a short time of day and night together cannot make you fully understand the personality of the other party.
7、 Choose this object for treason
Parents always stress to you that you should find a rich partner, but every boyfriend of you is poor; Your parents have been strict with you since childhood, but every girlfriend of you is very casual; Since childhood, my father has been telling me everything. Spreading incense is the most important thing. But your girlfriend is either unable to give birth or doesn't want to give birth
If the object you choose always makes your parents angry, it is likely that you just want to rebel. You think you must prove something to fight back. When you can't control your choice, you don't really love each other. This relationship is doomed to be fruitless.
8、 The other party is not free
I leave this to the end because it can't be regarded as emotion at all. The first prerequisite for choosing a lifelong partner is that the other party is "free". "Free body" is the person who can freely associate with you, without marriage, engagement, fixed contact object, sleeping with others, single, and only associate with you.
If the man you love promises to break up with another woman earlier; Or he said he didn't love that woman, but he loved you; Or his original object accepts your existence, and they don't want to break up, but he wants to be with you for a while; Or he just broke up, but may be reunited... These are not free bodies.
