Post Date December, 03 2023
When the ark of love encounters an iceberg, who will handle it better? My answer is: women. In traditional beliefs, women are always weak, and several studies have shown that men are more depressed, sad, and anxious after a breakup than women. Men may feel very strong, but in fact, they are quite fragile. Believe me, I have read hundreds or thousands of letters from men seeking advice on how to win back relationships. The following are the reasons why men cannot handle breakups well.
1、 Men cover up their pain
When a boy is dumped, his first reaction is: I won't let her know how painful I am. How did he do it: hang out with a few friends. According to a survey by Men's Health Online, 26% of men will hold a dumped party and get drunk after breaking up, but this is just a minority. 36% of men feel that they should see their new rights and thank the person who dumped them. In fact, both of these reactions are masks that conceal their true feelings. It has no help at all for sadness or anger. Men have been feeling sad about their lost relationships, even after their dumped party. And women will immediately cry and tell the truth after a breakup. Research has found that when women face their failed relationships, they may initially feel blue, but quickly emerge from the shadows. Many men want to suppress their emotions, but their emotions cannot be released.
2、 Men have fewer friends
One reason why women recover faster than men after a breakup is that they have an amazing social circle. Research shows that men rely on love for emotional intimacy and social support, while women prefer to consider family and female friends as the safest refuge. Including mothers, sisters, friends, beauticians, and drivers, the more she talks to each other, the faster she recovers. On the other hand, men tend to pretend to be indifferent to breakups and not trapped by emotions. Six months later, when the man is willing to face his feelings honestly, what he wants is to return to the girl's side.
3、 Men find it difficult to rebuild another relationship
After breaking up, boys first feel very excited and can date other women. But after three, four, or dozens of days, they will realize that it will take a long time to feel as natural as being with their ex girlfriend. A survey by Carnegie Mellon University in the United States shows that girls are better able to adapt to the end of relationships because they have already considered the possibility of breaking up. However, the boy was not prepared. Emotional security cannot be the only reason for being together, which makes him realize how lucky he is to have her, and at the same time, she has already left him. When he got drunk and called her to admit his feelings, it was already too late.
4、 Men view emotions as games
The breakdown of many relationships is a subconscious reaction, and men see it as stagnation. They find it boring to go to the same restaurant, face the same person, and engage in repetitive sexual activity. After breaking up, they will immediately realize that being single does not mean champagne or semi naked beauty, even in exciting bars, they still feel the intimacy of the past. Research has shown that women consistently excel in social, sexual, and rational intimacy. They often become more aware of long-lasting relationships based on family relationships than men, rather than being adventurous.
A study suggests that women can quickly adjust after a breakup because they have long considered the possibility of a breakup and what to do after it, whereas men never have such considerations.
A smart wife should know how to save face for men
Women's understanding of giving appropriate "respect" or "face" to their husbands and boyfriends can be said to be a stepping stone to achieving harmony in today's sexual relationships.
Don't underestimate this issue. During meals and banquets, there are often instances where wives do not know how to save face for their husbands in public.
Last week, during a dinner with more than a dozen people, before the second course was served, Mrs. Chen casually said to Mrs. Zhang, who was sitting next to him, "Your husband will still make money. My husband's monthly income is less than half of yours!" Mr. Chen, who was sitting next to him, immediately changed his face when he heard that his wife was so "straightforward" because he was one of the invited guests, In order not to make the scene too awkward at the time, he immediately stood up and said, "My car has been parked by the roadside and may be dragged away. I will park the car and come back later." Mr. Chen left the seat after speaking, of course, just to leave. The so-called parking is just an excuse to leave.
The issue of face cannot be underestimated. There is a slang saying in China that goes "hanging a ghost to wipe powder - dying to save face", which states that one of China's national characteristics is "good face", and even foreigners can say "NOFACE". Everyone hopes to be "respected" or live with "dignity" in front of others. In other words, no one wants their self-esteem to be damaged, they don't like being humiliated by others, let alone being belittled by their wives in front of people they know!
Famous writer Maugham once said, "Self esteem is a virtue, a driving force that motivates a person to constantly improve." In modern sexual relationships, it seems that we should learn how to not harm each other's "virtues" and "driving forces," right?
Saving face is actually a language art, and Mrs. Chen can say it this way: "Congratulations! Mrs. Zhang, your husband is becoming more and more proficient in making money. One day, let my husband ask him for advice on how to make a fortune. But in other aspects, he may need to learn from my husband." This would naturally make everyone happy.
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)
