Post Date April, 15 2023
We often hear many people complain about the painful love or marriage they face, and many friends find ways to help them, encourage them to stay away from misfortune, and even try to save them. However, often, they return to the relationship that caused him pain and are unwilling to leave. Even if you know it's a hell, you're still unwilling and reluctant to leave, making you feel helpless and sad
They would rather continue to be unfortunate than believe that they can deserve better happiness and life.
Of course, some relationships can be repaired, while others may change. However, if a relationship is really bad enough that everyone will advise you to leave as soon as possible, and one person is really bad enough that everyone will advise you not to leave, then what is the reason for not leaving?
My friend said that he was afraid of hearing the kind of person who knew he had already met a bad person, and all his friends advised him to leave as soon as possible because of the long pain. He also knew that continuing would only result in losing his beautiful life. Some may have an affair with someone, while others may engage in domestic violence and humiliate you, such as scam groups scamming you out of your savings and being treated as a free maid by his entire family... This can drag down life for an unworthy relationship, but even if they know they should confess and kill someone who doesn't love you, they often stay where they are and continue to drag down their life.
What is the reason for not leaving? Some people say it may be for the sake of children, face, or money. Many unfortunate marriages do not divorce because they have children, so they can only endure. (But what impact does enduring an unfortunate marriage for the sake of children have on them? Will the children be like you in the future? Or will they resent you?) Marriage for the sake of face is because divorce has no face, and it is better to live a fake married life and live separate lives? Or maybe your family doesn't support divorce and wants you to endure it, so you can only live a superficial married life (which is actually no different from a widowed one). For the sake of silver, it is for the benefit of each other or oneself. Partners who do not want to lose their marriage or do not have a stable income are afraid that divorce will lead to financial loss, so they are unwilling to leave.
But when we talked about those who would rather be trapped in misfortune than leave, my friend said: In fact, their biggest problem is' fear of change 'because they lack confidence, do not know if change will be better, and do not know how to change. Therefore, instead of facing an uncertain future, it is better to have an ostrich mentality and not face or change for the time being.
Listen, I also agree. In fact, many people would rather be victims all the time than take off the shackles of the victims (in fact, they have to play the role of victims themselves), because with the same person and relationship, they have become habits, constrained, like pain has become daily, and being hurt is also a habit. They no longer hold hopes for happiness and trust each other. But I don't know if stepping out of this cage would be better. Due to this uncertainty and lack of confidence, I would rather keep myself trapped here.
The reason why some people don't break up with a bad person is because they don't believe they can meet a better person, they don't believe they can find someone they love more (they still think this is the person they love the most in their life when they are with a bad person), and they feel that they can't love anymore. Even if they are bad again, they still love the most in their life, so they don't want to leave.
Some people also hold a feeling of being destroyed together with the other party, because the other party has hurt them. If they leave easily, they will let go of them, and letting them be with others will make them unwilling. Therefore, they would rather drag each other down and hurt each other than leave. They are not willing, thinking that they have been spending so many years with you, but have not achieved good results. They must continue to spend it with you, otherwise, wouldn't these years be in vain? (What a terrible mentality)
Some people feel that the other person has hurt them but has not received the deserved retribution. How can they leave me and live a better life? How could he not love me? Because we want the other party to pay the price, we don't let go of the other party, nor do we let go of ourselves. Even if we only hate each other but don't love each other, we should still pester and bind them, harass and slander them, and live like the Avengers Alliance, pestering each other like a ghost, just because we can't accept that the other party doesn't love him. Even if they know that their relationship is like sour water, they still have to continue eating and tell others how unpleasant it is. It's difficult for you to understand.
Fear of change is like a mental demon, trapping you in misfortune, making you less confident in your life, and losing the ability to move forward. But in fact, if you bravely walk past and look back, you will find the cowardice at that time really ridiculous. At that time, you thought that if you didn't love him, you would die, and if you didn't, you wouldn't be able to live without him. Finally, when you walk by, you will find that you live better, you can continue to love, and are more worthy of love.
You will find that it is you who are trapped, it is you who cause yourself to be trapped, and it is not others who trap you. The harm may be caused by others, but if you continue to live in harm, it is you who are harming yourself, not him.
You hope others are responsible for your misfortune, but the reality is that no one can be responsible for your misfortune unless you choose to continue living in it. If others make you fall, you can either fall to the ground and blame others, or stand up bravely and take the fall as a lesson to make yourself walk more steadily and better. Frustration is a test, but it is up to you to decide how to pass it.
People who are afraid of change often feel that it's better not to change, but if you don't change, how do you know that you can be worth it better? Maybe you should learn to face your blind spots and demons, learn to face your fears, and find some brave reasons.
I used to be a person who was afraid of change, and what's worse, I just wanted to be a bad person and didn't dare to refuse, so I wasted a lot of time in relationships that I knew were not suitable for. It wasn't until I faced up to my cowardice and changed my shortcomings that I changed my life.
Many people always say the best reason: it's easier said than done. So, why not do it because it's difficult? Of course, it's difficult to do it, but it's not about achieving success in one step. It's about taking it slowly, making changes bit by bit, and every small step you take will become your motivation for change. Go ahead and do it first, and you will realize that it may not be as difficult as you imagine!
Don't let fear of change become an excuse to refuse happiness or a reason to comfort yourself. Leaving unhappiness is not so scary, but letting oneself settle for it is the most terrifying thing.
