Post Date December, 03 2023
I am 48 years old this year, my husband has passed away, and we have a daughter who is 15 years old.
Later on, I met a boyfriend who was 29 years old and we had been together for eight years. His parents urged him to get married the year before last, got married the following year, and left again six months later. During this period, I had contact with him.
Last year I saw him get married, and my friend also introduced me to him. When we were together, he didn't want to, and he made trouble with me every day. He got divorced this summer, and now we meet every two or three days. He calls and manages me every day. Brother Shan, do you think he is reliable? I am 19 years behind him. We have been together for eight years now, and I am almost fifty years old. He is still young, and he worries about me looking for someone else every day, keeping me under strict control. I often ask him to find other young girls, but he has also found a few and said they are not suitable.
Now I can still find another one, but he won't let me. Can he be reliable when I get older? He said he tried to leave me a few times, but he couldn't. We've been fighting and arguing for eight years, and I don't know what to do in the future?
reply:
From your confidences, I always feel that this man is not much like your boyfriend, but more like your underground lover. The relationship between you seems quite complex, a bit unclear and unclear. In fact, although you have been with this man for eight years, you have no intention of achieving anything with him. You are just using his emotions to pass your loneliness and coldness, right? And he actually cares about you very much, even constantly pestering you? Is that so?
I'm not sure if you really want to get rid of him now, or do you also care about him in your heart, just because the age difference makes you feel unreliable, or lacks enough security to dare to admit your feelings for him? Here, I just want to say that for true relationships, age is definitely not a problem, but you must not talk about love with someone because of loneliness, nor do you choose to be with them for a comfort and comfort. In short, there must be love in your relationship, and this love must have me in you and you in me. If this is the case, you can completely break through the shackles of the secular world and boldly pursue it.
The key is, do you really feel like you love each other? Can your love have a future? Is the love he has given you clear and mature enough? Can you still support the reality in front of you together? For example, how to face your children and family, do you have sufficient psychological preparation? If you feel unknown and at a loss about these things, then don't waste each other's time, especially don't waste each other's time because they are still young.
I would like to remind you that you are much older than the other party, and you need to be rational enough to do things. If you choose to refuse, you should simply be thorough. Don't always be disconnected, ambiguous, or sloppy, otherwise, it will only harm others and yourself in the end.
