Accidentally breaking into an extramarital relationship between my husband and a woman

[Question]

I have been married for ten years and have a 9-year-old son who works as a teacher. My husband is at a training institution. My husband was discovered to be having an affair with a former female colleague during his father's cancer hospitalization, when I cooked the meal and he took the child to the hospital to deliver the meal. When I went online, I thought it was my QQ friend who clicked and discovered that he and his colleague were also my current colleague's secrets. I told him I knew, and I cried.

For the first time in ten years of marriage, I felt a bit unsure. He said he just talked to her and didn't do anything wrong to me. Two days later, he brought back some specialties and said they were given by his subordinates. But intuition tells me he's lying. Sure enough, I knew the truth with a little attention. "I didn't argue with him, but I just told him that a man who isn't greedy for money won't commit a crime, and if he isn't greedy for sex, he'll have a lot less trouble.".

I thought life would calm down. Until recently, he often returned late or occasionally did not return. I choose to believe that he is really a job. But intuition tells me it shouldn't be all. Because he was very quiet over there after several phone calls. The day before yesterday, it was the company's annual meeting. But I didn't come back all night (what I understand is that the dinner broke up after 10 o'clock). The next morning, I didn't answer his phone because I was worried about calling. Later, he said he was in the company. After dinner, I went to play with my colleagues. Come back this afternoon and tell me. I'll ask him first when I get home at night. I said I was worried about his drunk driving when I didn't come home all night. And analyzed the reason why he couldn't possibly be playing with colleagues. He said he was in the hospital with a woman. The woman liked him and he refused. The woman got drunk and he took her to the hospital for the night. And said he didn't do anything to apologize to me. "For a moment I collapsed, wouldn't it be right if I didn't go to bed?"? There was no noise or crying. I just asked him what the name of the woman was. "I didn't give at first, but I gave later, but I couldn't convince myself to believe him anymore.". A letter was sent to his mailbox. Without complaining or scolding, I just told him that I let go because I loved him. Can the teacher tell me how I can do better?

[Answer]

You have a good upbringing. He too. This has determined that you can negotiate everything together. After ten years of marriage, you have hardly had a red face. Even when there is disagreement, you can always handle it properly and reach an agreement. Peace is the main theme of your marriage life.

But life has its variables, and there are inevitably moments of uncertainty in the heart. In this society, there are too many temptations. Even if you have principles, it is difficult to ensure that those who do not have principles do not covet your existing happiness. He is now facing this situation. A lonely woman doesn't even care if a man has a family. Such women are often delicate and pitiful, with a delicate appearance that requires urgent care and care. Men are naturally protective and can easily exceed the normal line of communication between men and women in contact. At this time, it is very rare for you to be able to communicate with each other heart to heart. Although he has begun to conceal some of your true situation, he still tells you the truth in the end, so he is not a habitual emotional offender. Your emotions are too calm, and a momentary breakdown is just hidden within you. It's time to express anger, sadness, and loss. At such a moment, it's necessary to express it. You need to let him know how upset you are at home when he is with other women. Let him know that you deeply need him and that you are the one who needs him most to take care of, not the others.

"That email was very unwise and easy to let go. It wasn't love, it was love's cowardice.". But since it has been sent to him, it doesn't matter. If he mentions it, you will timely reveal your uneasiness and fears, making men feel distressed. In short, let him love you rather than pity a third party. "You and a third person are colleagues, and the best way to separate is for the third person to say goodbye to themselves, so that your marriage will not be affected by this over and over again.".