After my husband resigned, he didn't look for a job. He secretly fooled around with my mistress and used me as a nanny

Letters from readers:

My husband and I have known each other for 5 years, married for 2 years, and my daughter has been 18 months. In January this year, my husband quit his job and has no job. I have known the third child for 10 months now. I have found three times in the process. Every time I found out that I had a divorce, he refused and said that he had nothing to do with the third child, but behind the fact, he is cheating me and has been secretly with the third child.

A few days ago, I found out again that I think I should divorce. I can't stand it. He hasn't found a job yet, and now he won't divorce. He said he would forgive him for the last time, and I won't trust him anymore. I have evidence. I want to sue him. From this year on, I took care of my children at home as if I were a babysitter. I didn't care about me and didn't care about me. I found out that he was cheating this year, so I moved out with the child to live in his mother's house. I cheated me again and again, and begged me to forgive him for the last time. I won't believe it again. Do you think my husband is hopeless? Now that I have no job, the question is, I want my daughter. Will the court award me?

reply:

Hello, you have been together for three years before marriage and two years after marriage. It can be seen that marriage is not a blind choice, and it must be based on emotion. Now that the baby is just 18 months old, the baby should be very cute. It is reasonable to say that a father should be very happy every day, but this man has gone to look for a mistress outside of marriage. I wonder if your husband is a little bit patriarchal and has some prejudice against your girl. Or your relationship has been affected by the birth of your child. Do you spend more energy on your child and inadvertently snub him?

When marriage goes wrong, it's not necessarily a matter of one person. It needs two people to reflect on themselves together. Or maybe at this time, you need to think more from the other's point of view. Is there something wrong with your husband's work that causes him to quit, and he will be more empty and lonely after resignation, so you can't extricate yourself from extramarital affairs. Of course, this must not be an excuse for men's depravity.

Your husband fools around with Xiao San again and again, which is also the result of your weakness and indulgence. If you are independent enough, if you are strong enough, if you are clear about principles, I think he will not be so unrestrained. Now, you seem to have been extremely disappointed with your husband, and don't want to continue to tangle with him. Of course, choosing to divorce and not accept the repeated torture of a man may be out of frustration, and there is no way to do it. So it is normal for you to have all kinds of worries and tangles at the moment. Therefore, you need to think twice at such a time. If you don't give him some color to see if your husband is saved, he will feel that your bottom line is blurred, and he will act according to your face. To some extent, whether he can be saved depends on how you treat him. If your attitude is tough enough, he may choose to converge. Therefore, I support you in your tough choice to divorce him. Whether you really want to leave him or to scare him, you need to take this step. After all, he still doesn't want you to leave him in his heart. He is just indulging himself.

Just think about it yourself. You don't have a job. If you really get divorced, you will face great pressure for survival. I'm afraid the custody of your child will also be a problem. But your husband is the fault party. It is also very difficult for the fault party to obtain the custody of your child. The specific situation depends on how the law is tilted between you. Therefore, if you want to choose divorce, it is recommended that you first maintain a strong heart, and then go out to work early to achieve self-reliance. Only by self-reliance can you ensure your own survival and have the strength to fight for the custody of your child.