Post Date December, 03 2023
Case: Mr. Zhang and Mrs. Wang quarreled again, inevitably throwing pots and pans, blaming each other, and even developing into violence. Both of them believed that the other party was wrong, and they were innocent and wronged. However, from a psychological point of view, it is better to censor yourself than to blame the other party.
Analysis: Before people get angry, they often have reasons. For example, they think that the other party has violated themselves or hurt themselves, so they get angry and get out of control. However, this prerequisite is not always correct.
In fact, when a husband and wife quarrel, they fight back after enduring each other. Then this kind of fight back is considered as an attack by the other party, and then they fight back. Both husband and wife tend to regard each other as strong and aggressive, and themselves as weak and victimized, which is actually related to the traditional way of raising children in families. Some traditional families raise their children by "filial piety under the stick", so the children have a lot of emotions under the oppression of their parents when they are young. After entering the marriage, because the emotional relationship is too close, it is impossible to hide it, so they vent their childhood feelings towards their parents to their lovers. If the lovers grow up in the same family environment, the other side will have the same emotional reaction, so the couple began to quarrel, And this quarrel is fruitless.
The solution to the problem is that both husband and wife should not regard themselves as victims, and should not regard some of the other's actions as directed against you, that is, do not contact themselves with all emotions, and do not seek to get angry, but take a more peaceful attitude. When the other party sees you do this, they will change their attitude accordingly. After all, it is emotional for two people to come together. If you accept him (her), he (she) will repay you.
In addition, when a couple encounters a dispute, they need to think first: "Is it because I did something wrong? Is it because I didn't accept myself that I didn't accept him?" Such thinking, coupled with communication, many contradictions have been resolved.
(Intern editor: Cai Junyi)
