Post Date December, 03 2023
Q:
In fact, when I first married him, he loved me more. All along, I have been surrounded by admirers who have been trying to be nice. I have never stopped from junior high school to work. I chose him because he was honest and my parents recognized him. As for how much I liked him, I can only say that he made me feel at ease.
I was very impressed on the day I married him. I was a little disappointed. So I married? The feeling of loss is greater than the joy of marriage. Probably not the most desirable one, so there are always regrets. My first love was in the second year of senior high school. The physical education representative of our class was particularly tall and sunny, but the result was not good. Our love lasted until the third year of junior high school. The two people finally separated with different places and some trivial matters. At that time, I began to accept the reality. My parents have always stressed that love should be matched by family. From then on, I began to accept the blind date arranged by my family.
He was chosen by his parents. Solid, hardworking, working in famous enterprises, having three houses in the city at home, the wedding house was prepared early, and everything is logical. But I have been unhappy. I can see that he is very satisfied with me, but I really feel that way about him.
So when I met that man later, I didn't know what was going on, so I couldn't help following him. That man, if he really said that he was better than his husband, it wasn't necessarily, but he made me realize what love was. I am also very helpless to fall into such immoral feelings. I know that this is not the way to go on, and I choose to leave him painfully. But in spite of this, my husband found out about it.
I don't know how my husband found out about me. I thought he was busy with his work every day. His enthusiasm for me has faded in recent years. I didn't expect him to notice me at all. No man can bear the betrayal of his wife. I bear his anger one by one. I think this is my sin. I have betrayed a man (lover) who loves me and hurt a family (husband) who loves me. So no matter how my husband treats me, I will bear it silently.
However, what I didn't expect was that he would retaliate me by cheating, and he showed me where he went with the third child today, and what he bought for the third child today. He even bought a newly opened small apartment near the city center for the third child at no cost, and also bought the car that the third child liked. The third followed him, and everything was there. The little girl was also innocent and looked a little like me. She had no idea that her boyfriend had been married for many years. She had just graduated, and had a smooth journey like me, without any setbacks. She was especially easy to trust people. My heart is so cold that even when I am with others, I have never suffered so much. My husband's mantra is "you don't deserve it". I begged him to divorce and let me go, but he firmly refused. He said that he would torture me for a lifetime because I am "unworthy of being forgiven".
I think he is crazy. Why? Why punish me in this way? Cheat another woman? Just because I cheated that time? But I have broken it and tried to make up for it. Why do you do this to me?
A:
You don't understand the inner pain of what you love and hate. Where is he punishing and torturing you? He is also torturing himself. After being married for so long, can't he detect whether you are close to him? It is likely that he knew from the beginning that you married him only to obey the "words of your parents", and he loved you wishfully and thought that you would return the same love after marriage. He may have tried all kinds of ways to please you, but in exchange for your cheating experience.
Just from the point that he found you cheating, and you wonder how he found it, he pays more attention to you than you do to him. The serious emotional imbalance has led to his extraordinary pain. He has no idea how to get along with you again. On the one hand, he hates that you can't respond to his feelings with his expectations. On the other hand, he can't give up his feelings and leave you. This makes him a contradictory individual, and his behavior towards the junior three is more like a vent. Why is a man willing to buy a house and a car for his mistress? That's because at that time, they thought it was worthwhile. You must help him and help yourself, and both of them can walk out of this strange circle of disappointment and revenge. You all need to "break, give up and leave" the third party.
Your pursuit of love stays in the past and future, but never focuses on the present. You keep stressing that you don't love him. If there is no emotion, no matter how he retaliates or who he is with, he can't hurt you and won't make you feel painful. You long for love, but don't want to face up to the love around you, which will inevitably hurt yourself and your lover.
