Post Date April, 15 2023
Big and small are their nicknames in life. He is tall and handsome, and she is petite and charming; He is gentle and gentle, and she has a sharp tongue. After three years of passionate love, they chose to live together a year ago after graduating. However, after a year of "trial marriage", their once passionate love failed in their daily life. Give up or continue? It is a painful problem for them. Helplessly, he dragged Xiaoda to find the reporter, hoping that the reporter could analyze for them and point out the confusion.
I can't stand her losing things
I really don't understand how a girl can be so careless! Wash clothes. No matter the underwear and coat are dark or light, she will throw them all into the washing machine. Even if she washes the dishes, she can drop a few. When we just lived together, she occasionally took the initiative to do some housework, but she was so careless, and she was under great pressure at work. I was also distressed to see her a thin little girl go out early and come back late every day, so I simply arranged all the housework at home.
But even if I volunteered to be a cook and nanny at home, she should be more considerate. She is very good. It is often because I have just cleaned up the room. When she comes home, her bags and clothes are thrown everywhere and she finds things and turns them over. It is like being robbed at home. I'm tired of reading it. We often quarrel over these small things. Not only did she not change a bit, but she often tried to be reasonable and sharp. I can't say anything about her. I can't be angry. The bowls and cups at home have become my object of vent; She is not willing to be outdone. Anything that can be easily copied can become a weapon for her to throw at me.
Sometimes think about it, maybe it is a mistake for us to choose cohabitation and trial marriage. I remember that the first time I saw her was four years ago when the school association organized an activity in Moshan. She was so petite, gentle and quiet. The shy smile immediately stole my heart. I didn't expect that she was completely different in real life. She is not only rough at home, but also careless outside. Once, at 8 o'clock in the evening, she didn't come back. I called her and turned it off. I waited anxiously until 10 o'clock in the evening, but she still didn't return, and there wasn't a phone call. I am angry and anxious. She is like this. She never makes people feel at ease! I went out to find her by bike and followed her way back from work. However, I didn't even see her. When I came home exhausted, it was more than 11 o'clock at night, and she was already asleep in bed! I was so angry that I pushed her to wake up. She was still very unhappy and said that I made her sleepy. Later, she told me that her mobile phone was stolen on the bus when she went to work in the morning, and she came home so late because she was too tired to sleep on the bus. I asked her, why didn't you tell me that your mobile phone dropped in the morning? She curled her lips and said, I'm not afraid you scold me! That day, I didn't sleep all night. I don't know what was wrong with her. Why didn't we have such a tacit understanding?
Her work is always more important than mine
After graduation, I went to work in a large state-owned enterprise in Hankou with regular commutes. However, she went to a private enterprise and left earlier than me every day, and the time of return was uncertain. When I get home from work at 6 p.m., I go to the vegetable market to buy vegetables (the vendors in the vegetable market basically know me, after all, there are too few young men like me who buy vegetables every day), and then go home to wash vegetables and pick vegetables. After everything is ready, I dare not cook again, for fear that the food will be cold when she comes back, so I just keep my mobile phone and wait for her to come back. Later, in order to make it easier for her to work in Qingshan, we moved to Xudong Road from our unit in Hankou, but she still went out early and returned late. Every day when I come home from work, I always see an empty room. Sometimes I feel very sad.
Once I came back from a business trip in Nanjing, which happened to be at noon on Sunday. I hurried home to surprise her, but when I opened the door, she was not at home! I quietly put down my luggage and habitually went into the kitchen. There were only two eggplants on the empty table. At that moment, I really felt more lonely than those two eggplants! I called her and she said she was shopping with her sister! Work is more important than me, and family and friends are more important than me. What is my ranking? In a fit of anger, I broke up with her for the first time, but after three days of cold war, we made up again.
Similar contradictions occur more and more frequently, and every time I try to solve these knots, she dodges and avoids problems. In June this year, her company will move to Huangjinkou, Hanyang. She said that she also wants to move to the dormitory in the factory. I don't agree. I don't understand how she can speak so easily? Is she not nostalgic for this family at all? The more I thought about it, the more I felt cold. In a fit of anger, I broke up with her again.
To my surprise, she really moved away the next day without a word. When I came home from work, I looked at the room without her and wept, leaving her smell in every corner here! I realized that I couldn't live without her! I have only one relative in Wuhan. How can I live alone without her?
After moving away, she seldom contacted me. But I can't let her go at all. It hurts me to think that she is in such a remote factory and nobody takes care of her. I took the cooked soup and fruit to the factory to see her, but she either lost sight of me or was busy working and ignored me. She told me to give each other a time to calm down. But falling in love is not like writing articles that can be blank. A blank may become an eternal full stop between us!
I was hurt by his haggling
My friends often envy my good fortune and find a good boyfriend who is "twenty-four filial piety". The three years of love in college was really sweet. He took great care of me and was very attentive. His parents and I are in other places. After graduation, we naturally chose to live together. At first, I really felt very happy. Although I work hard outside, every night when I go home, he will carefully prepare delicious food for me and take the trouble to sort out the things I have left around. Sometimes, I also want to help do some housework, but he always comes over and seems to be distressed and angry, saying, "Look, your hands are so small that you can't even hold a bowl. What can you do? Let me do it!"
However, gradually he complained more and more about me, and a little bit of small things can make him lose his temper. He will tell me if my clothes are not put properly. He will annoy me if I go home late. He can also be angry if my phone fails. I don't understand. How can a big man be so small? Is it necessary to make such a fuss about these small things? He always said that I have become different from before. He doesn't think how gentle and considerate he was to me before, and how harsh and unreasonable he is now!
Let's say that my mobile phone was stolen. He blamed me for not telling him earlier, which worried him. But dare I tell him about his hot temper? I always worked overtime in those days. When I went home, I fell asleep on the bus and overslept the station. When I got home, it was more than ten o'clock in the evening, and he was not at home. I thought he was engaged outside, so I didn't call him. I was hungry and tired. I ate something and went to sleep. Just after I fell asleep, I was pushed to wake up by him. I was moved to hear him say he went out to find me. But his unreasonable appearance made me feel disgusted.
He broke up with me for the first time because of a small matter. He went on a business trip. Can't I go shopping with my sister? I don't know when he will come home!
After each conflict, we will have a cold war, and then our feelings will be exhausted in the cold war.
He said I hated him for not being motivated
When I was looking for a job after graduation, I was not as lucky as him. I applied to work as an accountant in a private enterprise. Private enterprises are different from state-owned enterprises. Overtime is a routine and the pressure is much greater. The boss is labor-saving, and even the cleaner doesn't want to be hired. We have to mop the floor and wipe the table by ourselves. But he just doesn't understand me and sometimes throws cold water on me. I know that he works hard and that he has paid a lot for me and our family, but what can I do? I also want to go home on time every day. I also want to take a walk with him after dinner instead of immediately facing the computer. But if I don't work hard, I will be fired!
I think he is too free. If he is as busy as I am, maybe there will be less conflicts between us. I advised him to pay more attention to his work. We are still so young and should work hard for the future. But he was furious and said that I had no conscience. He worked for me, but I hated him for not having ambition.
He broke up after several quarrels, but he came to make peace with me a few days later. Once, we had another big fight, and the next day I was going to Zhengzhou on business. That night, he was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep, and didn't let me sleep. He kept asking what we should do. I was so sleepy that I begged him to let me sleep first, but he refused. I really feel tired. This kind of tiredness is not only physical, but also spiritual. I think it's time to solve our problems.
It happened that the company was going to move to the remote Huangjinkou, so I proposed to live in the dormitory in the factory. On the one hand, it's too far to go to work. I want to concentrate on my work and give us some space to calm down. But his reaction was very strong, saying that I was cruel and that I didn't care about him at all. In fact, how can I make such a decision without suffering? However, we will only find that there are more and more problems and hurt each other more and more.
After moving away, he often came to the factory to find me, and even knelt down and begged me to move back. To tell the truth, I have been shaken several times, but when I think of the past scenes, I give up the idea of going back. A week ago, he said that he was ill and could not move in bed. I was very worried and rushed to see him, only to find that he was just lying to me. He took my hand and told me to go home. I couldn't help crying. I don't know what will happen to us in the future, but I clearly know that love and life are really different things. (All characters in the text are pseudonyms)
The truth behind sweetness
In a friend's blog, I saw a sentence: "Behind sweet love is often the truth that we can't tolerate. As long as one party is slightly picky, it will change from singing and dancing to fighting."
What is the truth? It is the life trivia that every couple of men and women should deal with outside of love. In dealing with the trivia day after day, everyone's most real personality, those who may be hidden, neglected and beautified in love, such as hot temper, carelessness, procrastination, and haggling will be exposed. The person you love is no longer a beautiful illusion of cannibalism, but a flawed mortal who is not much different from others.
Don't make demands on the quality he (she) didn't have originally. No matter how much you love each other at first, love will be buried by such demands.
Either accept the real one with tolerance, or continue to look for the perfect next, if you can find it.
