Everyone has personality, and the world is big, but it is difficult to find two people who have the same personality and have to be opposite sex. It is also difficult for couples to say that their personalities are the same in all aspects, so this different personality is the cause of quarrels between couples. No one is perfect, and personality can be tempered, but a person's personality cannot be changed. It has been created from the womb. So what should we do when our lover is in bad mood?
First, do not deny or correct the current mood
Take the beginning as an example. Although you have prepared dinner very hard at home, your lover's mood is really in a low state. Then, don't deny that his/her mood is "nothing" or "it will be better later", and don't blame the other party for "having" the current mood. Try to understand that the other party is really in an uncomfortable mood, pay attention to his/her current emotional experience, and how to tender the skin to accept the existence of this emotion. Try to ask: "It seems that you are in a bad mood. Would you like to talk to me?"
Second, don't make subjective assumptions and delusions, but try to ask the real situation
"He must have been scolded by the leader at the unit and wanted to take it out on me; or I didn't charge his mobile phone properly last night, or punished me for being slow before going out this morning, and let him rush to the unit in a hurry...". When we are in this closed state of subjective imagination and psychology, it is difficult to see the true feelings and state of the other party. The best way is to gently ask: "You were in a hurry just now? Why do you seem to be in a mood?" Maybe it is difficult - in the face of the emotional pressure from the other party, you should put yourself down and pay attention to the other party first - but how to rejuvenate the skin in the reservoir is to temporarily bear the surging emotion of the other party. Once his mood calms down, the other party will be grateful, and the relationship will also improve, and the tolerance of the relationship will also improve.
Third, patient listening and emotional attention
After you can put down your imagination and focus on the truth of the other party, the other party will often have stories to tell. At this time, just listen patiently. Then feed back the feelings he heard. Maybe that is what he lacks understanding and attention, because he is a "fan". For example, he would say: "This month's performance is not good, and it is not my bad, but the team's bad, so I am the victim. This annoying performance evaluation method makes everyone happy when the team can achieve it; but I am good enough, but it is really awkward when it is dragged down by other people's situation...". Try not to interrupt him, even if he is extreme, biased, or not very important. The most important thing is that he should talk about the feeling of frustration, how to tender skin and your company is a great comfort and care.
Conclusion: Everyone will have emotional frustration and need help and understanding from others, including between husband and wife. People often say that when working outside is not smooth or angry, don't take this emotion home, but I want to ask how many people can really do it? Home is a warm harbor. What can family members do if they don't go to this harbor to seek comfort when they are unhappy or in a bad mood? Should he be fully inclusive and caring as his lover at this time?