Post Date December, 03 2023
Ask many friends who have been dating and getting married for a long time what kind of relationship is the most painful? The answer, apart from having an affair, is that there is nothing to talk about. How terrifying is chatting without words? Maybe you'll only know if you really meet them.
When I was single, I met many married friends who told me that their relationship with their partner was like a roommate, with little to talk about and even talking about children. Many people did not share common interests or hobbies, and their lifestyles were also different. Marriage seemed to be just a parent-child relationship maintained for the sake of children.
Some people, because they have no conversation with their significant other, would rather go drinking, going to hotels, or having fun with their friends after work. The excuse is that it's for work, but in fact, it's to escape the life that comes back home. Some people are diplomatic with their boyfriend/girlfriend, and those who bring them out to eat with their friends are not the real partners. They say that because the other half is not interested, or they suggest that the other party wants to take care of children. Evolving into a marital relationship where each party plays their own way (or goes their own way), or where only one party is playing and the other party is responsible for the family.
At that time, I had seen a lot of shocking education and deeply felt that it was pitiful to have someone who only focused on their own fun and disregarded their other half of the family. From a different perspective, what is this kind of marriage for?
I have seen many articles on the relationship between husband and wife and parent-child, all of which mention a key point, which is that if you have children, you must strive to maintain the relationship between husband and wife, not just parent-child relationships. If a couple's relationship is not good and they only exist for the sake of their children, their unhappiness will still be visible to the children. If there is no stable marital relationship, even if we try our best to maintain the parent-child relationship, one day the child will grow up and no longer need to be taken care of, and the couple will not know how to get along.
So, even if you have children, don't put them in front of your partner and ignore them. In fact, many marriages have problems, emotional changes, and the presence of third parties, many of which are due to the neglect of the marital relationship.
In fact, it's not just a marital relationship. Many relationships can become when we spend a lot of time together, because we get used to being together. However, in reality, the relationship between two people is like a stagnant water. Even though we know each other's interests and lifestyle are not suitable, we still continue to be together and live a life of constantly complaining about our other half.
Of course, in addition to many tragic and unpleasant examples, we will also encounter some happy cases. Some couples, even when they grow old, can still have good relationships, engage in things they enjoy together, enjoy life, and even chat and chat when they grow old, making you feel envious and heartwarming.
I have encountered such divine couples, and I always ask them how to maintain such a good relationship? The usual answer is that they will continue to do things they like together, understand the fun of life, maintain romantic methods, and manage their relationships with dedication. For example, I once met an old couple who had a good relationship. They said that they would travel to a place every wedding anniversary (only couples, no children), and they could enjoy the world of two together, eating candlelight dinner and holding hands. They were all lovers in love in any way. It makes people envious that they can still have such a good relationship in their old age.
And how wonderful it is for two people to be together for a long time and have a conversation! Having a conversation is not just about talking about trivial family matters or daily life, but rather, you can chat from place to place and enjoy the feeling of dialogue and spiritual connection with each other. I think a better way is to talk heart to heart.
Think about it, how rare is a partner who can talk to each other?
Some people may only see external conditions in their interactions, such as appearance, profession, and secular conditions, but they may not necessarily value whether their hearts fit each other. Do they really understand you? Or are you really willing to understand him?
If you are just trying to get love and become someone the other person likes, and you dare not even show your true heart to the other person, your true self must be hidden, just to please the other person, then you are even less likely to sincerely talk to the other person.
If you just like his beauty and are unwilling to accept his flaws and ugliness, and even you are unwilling to let the other person know your own bad side, they live in beautiful lies and play the role of perfect partners. So, your hearts never come close to each other.
If your love is just constantly pleasing the other person and sacrificing yourself, then your love is just an exchange, or an unequal exchange. He doesn't pay any attention to you.
A heart to heart and heart to heart partner is an equal and mutual relationship that understands tolerance and is willing to share everything with each other. You are soul mates, he is willing to tell you his vulnerability naked, and you are also willing to support him and maintain each other's feelings with your heart.
To be able to have heart-to-heart conversations, emotions can be managed, and happiness can last for a long time.
When one party gives up on being close to the other party's heart, even if you are still together, but the distance between your hearts becomes increasingly distant, how can you guarantee that you still love each other?
I once met a friend whose other half had an affair with a mistress and later divorced. He always angrily talked about how the mistress stole his other half. I sympathize with her plight, but I also asked her: Do you really still love your husband? She froze for a moment, unable to speak. She said that in fact, for several years, they had no feeling of love, but the other party should not betray her. She understands that what she is fighting for is morality, unwillingness (her own efforts), and time, not the love of the other party.
Many emotions are no longer confided in each other before they change hearts. Many years ago, I also blamed the person who betrayed me, but in fact, before the emotions change, I no longer care about them. When we no longer communicate attentively, our emotions may also quietly change and leave without our attention
Managing a long-term relationship is not easy. If you want to manage it well and be happy for a long time, and the other person is the one you want, then you need to maintain the habit of chatting with each other, understand each other's hearts, be their harbor, and provide maximum support and reliance. It's really scary because there's nothing to talk about!
Heart to heart is tightly connected, there is no need to stick together, you can understand the other person's heart. Such a tacit understanding is such a beautiful thing in a relationship! Being able to talk to each other is the key to lasting relationships, and being able to flirt when you get old is happiness, right?
