What if my husband is addicted to online chatting and can't extricate himself from cheating on female netizens
My husband and I have been married for 24 years and have a career of our own. We have a son and a daughter, and they both have a family and a stable career. In the eyes of outsiders, these are such a happy big family, which can be described as a double harvest of family and career.
But this is just an appearance. Since the year before last, my husband has been addicted to the internet, always chatting with those women on it, talking to them about their feelings, and sometimes sneaking to meet with netizens, charging them for calls, and so on. These are all discovered by me after checking his chat records. There are also many video chats, which I cannot know what to say. I used to have a bad temper, and when I saw these things, I started arguing with him. I usually argue several times a month, and sometimes I even have to take action, although I always take the lead.
At the beginning, he had some remorse, but within a few days, he relapsed and switched to a different phone to chat with those women. Every time I found out, he said he wanted me to forgive him, and this time he would definitely change. The fact proves that he is still the same. Due to business reasons, he has to return to the main city every day, while I can only guard the store here. Now when he comes back every day, his phone is clean and there are no traces. Although it seems calm, we are becoming increasingly unfamiliar.
I may have completely despair of him and become unwilling to talk to him, so he takes advantage of the situation and tries to be clean. Every day when he comes home, he washes and falls asleep, and we don't talk. Sometimes, when he says one or two words, I don't even bother to pay attention to him. Life is like this, living a lifeless life.
Many times, I want to go back to my hometown and forget about my marriage and divorce, but I am not willing to work hard to earn half my life's wealth and just give it to him for nothing. What should I do?
A common saying among people is that men become bad when they have money. As far as your husband is concerned, he should also be considered a person with some money now, whether it's what you earn or what he earns, he has the right to control it now. Because I have money, I have completed all the tasks that need to be completed, and there is no pressure in life, so I start learning to enjoy it. Catching up with this era, it is relatively developed, and high-tech things are abundant, bringing more external temptations. Moreover, at this age, my daughter-in-law is old and has been together for most of her life. Aesthetic fatigue goes without saying, and she also has extra free time. Therefore, she shifted her attention to online dating platforms and gradually developed misconceptions.
Although online dating and flirting are very virtual, they can easily become addictive. The key is to have opportunities to meet while chatting. This temptation can easily drive a person with ulterior motives deeper and deeper, unable to stop. In fact, at this age, if a virtuous wife and filial son were filial, it would have been to spend their later years peacefully, utilize their surplus heat, and do something meaningful. But your husband doesn't have such high consciousness and cultivation, and he is more fond of low-level tastes, which is also where human nature lies.
Therefore, when encountering such a situation, one should not easily divorce, nor use arguments or violence to solve it. Instead, one should sit down and communicate well, have a good chat, and reminisce about the beautiful or bumpy experiences of the past together, evoking memories of the past. In addition, you need to cultivate a strong and steadfast relationship between husband and wife. For example, when traveling together or going back to your hometown together, don't just focus on your business. This way, you only work together, like a partner, and can't make each other's hearts go closer.
Also, in business, we should not let him have too much leisure time. We should know how to occupy and consume his spare energy. We should also control his economic domination and not let him do whatever he wants. To encourage him to change his bad habits, he needs to first identify his weaknesses, such as whether he really cares about divorce or whether he is afraid that his children will know that he is unbearable? Only by finding his weaknesses can we effectively control him.
For an old husband and wife, life is particularly dull and lifeless, and it may also be normal. However, you need to understand that there is a need for active adjustment between husband and wife. If you do, but cannot win their care, you even feel constant despair. Even if no effort is effective, then you have the right to choose to leave him and pursue your own happiness in life. However, you must think of a way out before making a decision, including discussing this matter with your own child. Don't seek to live your life wrongfully, and don't let yourself regret it on impulse. After careful consideration, make a calm decision.