Ten years ago, in order to go to Japan, my ex husband and I divorced and then married a Japanese man. I got married to a Japanese man, and my ex husband didn't know about it. At that time, I took my child with me, but I come back with my daughter once a year.
After I stabilized in Japan, my ex husband requested to remarry me, but I never agreed. Recently, my ex husband had a girlfriend who requested to marry him and have a child. My ex husband's daughter and I are already 22 years old. Upon hearing this, I feel nervous about gambling. I can't guarantee my ex husband anything now, and I don't know what to do?
The Japanese husband educates his daughter in a Japanese way, but sometimes the daughter doesn't accept it and the relationship is not very harmonious. Whenever this happens, I think that if it were my own father, it wouldn't be like this. So, when I heard that my ex husband had a new girlfriend, my heart was very congested and sad.
Actually, my Japanese husband is 100% kind to me, but now I can't let go of my ex husband. What should I do? My ex husband asked me to come back, but I don't want to live in China. My ex husband said he can't live alone like this. If that's the case, he'll have to find another partner.
But I don't want him to look, am I too selfish?
reply
To put it bluntly, being able to conceive such thoughts now is not only selfish, but also makes me feel abnormal, which is very, very abnormal. I'm sorry, I can only evaluate you in this way.
Since you chose to divorce your ex husband and have remarried, you should focus on your current marriage without any distractions. Apart from the intersection between your child and ex husband, what qualifications and rights do you have to intervene in his freedom in other aspects. Legally speaking, there is no longer a relationship between you and your ex husband. Outside of the law, you can treat each other as friends or relatives, but it is absolutely impossible to define each other as a couple anymore unless you choose to legally remarry.
You hide the fact of remarriage from your ex husband, live a life of having a family and a husband, and then leave the other person with a hopeless wait to seek remarriage. You want your ex husband to be alone for you, which is a typical kind of unkindness. You are too greedy, and this is an extremely unhealthy mentality. There are problems in life, and this is unfair to your ex husband. What do you consider him? Do you have any personal belongings?
In fact, the reason why you can't let go of your ex husband may not necessarily indicate how much affection you still have for him, but more out of the thorny reality of the child's lack of biological father companionship, which is a kind of entanglement and discomfort. Because the relationship between your daughter and her Japanese stepfather is not harmonious enough, you are deeply worried. At the same time, you are also worried that the discomfort between your daughter and stepfather will affect the stability of your existing marriage. For this, you are somewhat worried and afraid. After all, it's uncertain how long a seemingly happy cross-border marriage can last when a person is in a foreign country, with differences in geography, culture and lifestyle, and complex family relationships. It is inevitable that people will have homesickness, after all, their roots are in China. So, the real situation will prompt you to expect your ex husband to give you a long-term spare tire, which will greatly enhance your sense of security in living in a foreign country and be prepared. If one day this cross-border marriage breaks down, there is still a good way out after returning home, and the family can reunite.
What you're thinking is too beautiful. There's nothing so cheap in this world, everything has to revolve around you! Adjust your mindset well. People should learn to bear the consequences of their choices, think for themselves, and also for others. In life, you should have a positive attitude, otherwise there will be no happiness.