In many cases, women like to choose not to speak when a man cannot speak. Silence is what you can say when you are silent. In fact, do you know that silence is actually a change of direction that indicates that this man is currently unable to solve this problem, so use silence to avoid problems. So, what exactly does silence mean behind a man's silence? Interested friends can learn about it with the editor!!
What does it mean behind a man's silence
1. Men are accustomed to using silence to protest gossip
Women like to establish and consolidate relationships through conversation, and they like to show their leadership and show their concern for men through gossip. "After marriage, men are more willing to directly state their specific wishes, such as' I want to rest 'or' I need to have a meeting '.". In the face of women's chatter, men will not directly refute, but will choose to remain silent. On the one hand, it means protesting, on the other hand, it means deliberately keeping a distance. Women can feel particularly hurt by this and say, "They have no feelings, they are simply cold blooded!" This is actually a misunderstanding. Married men are more accustomed to communicating their emotions and admiration with their hearts. The more women chatter, the farther away men will be. Although he is silent, a "protective wall" has been erected in his heart.
2. Men habitually use silence to adjust their body and mind
Boys have received a "backbone" education from an early age: no matter how much pressure they face, they cannot express it through crying or vent it through pouring out. The only thing they can do is to be silent and adjust their body and mind in silence. Therefore, when he sits on the sofa without saying a word and turns a deaf ear to your words, you might as well give him an hour to say "goodbye" to his day job thoroughly. After that, he may show amazing interest in any of your questions.
3. Men are accustomed to using silence to strategize
When a man talks and smiles, he suddenly becomes silent. At this time, he may be thinking about a problem, and he doesn't want anyone to pull him out of his thinking state, let alone someone to interrupt or disturb him. If you can't help asking him a question, it's tantamount to asking for trouble. In the eyes of men, all the questions at this time are disturbing and quiet. You might as well be a silent attendant. This relaxed atmosphere will not only greatly shorten his silence time, but also make him grateful to you.
4. Men are accustomed to using silence to treasure their secrets
Sometimes, a man's silence is another kind of concealment. He may think that women are too zhuanzhi, interfering with his freedom and rights. In order to prevent women from breaking the casserole and asking questions to the end, and prevent women from controlling and supervising him, he chose to remain silent. On the other hand, if taboos are mentioned in the communication between husband and wife, there is a bit more possibility of emotional crisis. So men are always very careful and try to avoid exposing their weaknesses, especially in crisis situations where men are extremely self enclosed. For sensitive topics such as past relationships and sex, men tend to be silent out of goodwill, because men also need a sense of security.
5. Men are accustomed to using silence as a disguise
At the same time, male psychology researchers have pointed out that the world of men is full of competition, which requires distance, masks, and calculations, and loneliness is inevitable. Women feel that there must be many secrets hidden in a man's heart, and curiosity drives them to constantly advance the depth of their exploration. To make a man open his heart in silence, first of all, give him a sense of security that you will not take advantage of his weaknesses at any time. You can listen quietly to his narration, evaluate as objectively as possible, and work with him to find solutions.
Analysis of the Causes of Men's Habit of Silence
1. Family education makes men accustomed to silence
Recalling men's childhood, their "specific" toys were submachine guns, cars, and so on. From an early age, men have been required to deal with all hard colored toys to cultivate the so-called "man's character" of fortitude and coldness. A man who has broken his knee cannot cry in pain, because our society believes that crying is not a man's behavior.
When a father teaches his son, he usually says, "You should act like a man.". As for what is a man? Society has set a standard for him, that is, not to easily reveal emotions and control emotions. "Even if you are full of love for a woman, you don't care about her appearance, because the man who hovers around her every day in the powder pile is not like a man.". The ideal "man" should do great things that transcend heaven and earth. Men who grow up in this kind of education learn to be silent. They would rather go to a tavern and get drunk or work hard than easily tell people about the sadness of life because men have the pressure to "have to be like men.".
2. Social culture makes men accustomed to silence
Culture has been keen on the movement of "creating gods" for men since the first day they are born. That is, men should always be strong and not easily show weakness in the face of difficulties. It seems that men do not have seven emotions and six desires. Men are a symbol of strength, negating their flesh and blood side.
These concepts make a man feel that once he enters a marriage, once he reveals too much emotion in front of a woman, his seven emotions and six desires (including his fragile side) will be revealed in front of a woman. As a result, his "strong myth" will be destroyed, and he does not meet the standards of a big man. Therefore, he cannot be outwardly indifferent to emotions, unable to take the initiative in marriage, and unable to control his wife. In a patriarchal culture, married women are the private property of men, and many men believe that a marriage contract is a sign of legalizing this ownership. Therefore, when married, there is naturally no need to worry about managing and maintaining the marriage. So, do you still need to be considerate and considerate to your wife like before marriage?
3. Social competition makes men accustomed to silence
Men also reflect that they are ruthlessly fighting and competing in social life, and when they return home, they only want to rest physically and mentally, not to express their feelings too much. This may be related to the degree to which both sexes participate in social competition. According to the traditional concept, a woman is not successful in social life and can legitimately live under the protection of her husband, but men can only face the harsh pressure of survival, which is an important reason why they become silent.
4. Biological characteristics make men accustomed to silence
Biologists may point out that there are innate differences in the way men and women express their emotions, such as women's preference for emotional expression and men's preference for rational expression. This may also explain why men don't like to show their emotions.
And women's understanding of marriage also affects their feelings of loss. Many women view marriage as the only thing in life and an important source of security. This reason can be traced back to the source of culture. When primitive society had a family, women always raised their children at home, managed household chores, and waited for their husbands to go out fishing and hunting to support their families. Without marriage and the shelter of a man, women at that time were likely to be without food and clothing. Economic dependency is one of the important reasons why women are particularly dependent on marriage.