Upon learning that my first boyfriend's wife passed away unexpectedly, I made a decision but was strongly opposed by my family and friends

I was with my first boyfriend in 2006 and separated in 2009.

At that time, I was in high school and graduated from high school in 2009. He graduated in 2007 and did not continue his studies. His family introduced him to someone before I graduated, and he kept procrastinating. After I graduated in 2009, his family requested to see my parents, but due to family reasons at the time, I never agreed. He went on a blind date under pressure from his family, but I still didn't let him meet my parents. Then he broke up. I contacted him and he said it was already late.

I reread it back then, he got married to his blind date. In 2010, I was admitted to college, and immediately I stepped out of this relationship and started my college life. I never fell in love again during college, and I always had him in my heart. Six years have passed this year, and during these six years, he has contacted me multiple times, always asking me if I am doing well. He hopes that I will be happy, but he still loves me in his heart. I will say thank you lightly, I am fine. Then there will be no further contact.

This year, I graduated and he contacted me again. This time, I learned that he had encountered misfortune. His wife passed away unexpectedly, leaving him and two five or six year old sons behind. I comforted him a few words, and then I returned to my hometown where we met. I admitted that I had always had him in my heart. I have always been in contact by phone, and he knows that I have always been single and wants to get back together. After all these years of contact, he still loves me. After a month of this, I promised to start over with him, and we have been together ever since.

A few friends around me have learned about this and strongly oppose me being with him. They say that our education, experience, and so on are not at the same level, and I can definitely find a better one. Why bother to be a stepmother for my two children, and they also say that being a stepmother is not easy. I know they are thinking for me.

On my parents' side, I only mentioned it to my mother, but she strongly opposed it. I didn't continue to say it, and they didn't know that I had been with him all along. Being with him is under various pressures, especially from my parents' side. I know people who may know about me say I'm stupid, and there are even those who say I'm harder to obey. But I still love him and he is also very kind to me. In the face of this relationship, I don't know whether to persist or let go? I sincerely want the help of my teacher. Those who are in the game are the ones who are watching, and those who are watching are the ones who are watching. Can the teacher help me analyze this relationship? Is it right for me to persist in this relationship???

reply:

1. In terms of emotions, there is nothing right or wrong. It is not wrong for a person to choose who they are as their partner, provided that you must follow your true heart.

2. Why are your friends and family strongly opposed to your choice, and some even say even worse things about you being foolish? In fact, they all care about you from the bottom of their hearts and don't want you to take too much risks in your relationship. They think you're not worth it. For this, friends' words can be used as a reference, while mothers' words should be given sufficient attention and consideration. You should know that a marriage without blessings is difficult to achieve happiness.

3. Objectively speaking, I also do not agree with you choosing your partner easily and hastily. As the saying goes, keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and keep your eyes closed after marriage. Choosing a partner is not like going to the vegetable market to buy groceries. It is necessary to be too casual, cautious, and rational. Although you have had a beautiful and lush relationship, it has become a thing of the past. It is not impossible to continue the beauty and relationship of the past, but it is important to consider the current situation.

4. Perhaps, what is not obtained is the best. At the beginning, you didn't achieve the right results and missed a love that you thought was unforgettable. Now, you still have each other in your hearts and still reminisce about the past. However, can the real situation really allow you to resume your relationship and reap the beauty you want?

5. Many times, first love is more about memories, and the chances of success are not high. So, take an objective view. At least in the face of this relationship, you need to consider the following factors: 1) He has a history of marriage and also has two children. If you are with him, are you really ready to be the stepmother of two children? Can you really break through the pressure brought by the secular world? 2) Does the man in front of you match? Is he still the prince charming in your eyes and your sweet lover? Are you in love with the past or the present? Has the sedimentation of time and the storms of life really not changed his initial imprint? 3) Do you have enough courage and firm belief that you will truly be happy together?

6. If you are hesitant about the above questions, it is recommended that you give yourself some time to calmly consider when to make a decision. Otherwise, your choice will mean taking great risks. So, think twice before acting! （