Post Date December, 03 2023
You know, some bad habits between husband and wife often make marriage collapse.
Bad habit 1: whoever earns money will be in charge
Economy determines "politics". Whoever has the money has the right to speak, and who is the boss. This is certainly true, but it cannot be extended to marriage and family. Many couples may not do this subjectively. Otherwise, it is a problem of character. The truth is that many couples ignore such problems.
Just act by feeling, wait for the resentment to accumulate more and more, and the hearts of each other will become bigger and bigger. At that time, it will be difficult to find the original love. Couples are equal, there is no real problem of who makes more money, just the division of labor is different. So couples must take the initiative to think about this problem, and pay attention to the discretion in some daily speech and action details, so as not to hurt each other.
Bad habit 2: the division of labor between husband and wife is too modular
Couples are not divided according to the characteristics of their own marriage, but stick to the popular or traditional mode and rigidly copy. Husband and wife are equal individuals, and there is no inherent or absolutely correct standard division of labor model. But based on the traditional model, most of them choose to have men in charge and women in charge, which of course has its reason. But the situation of each family is not exactly the same. Who can say that it must be the best?
Some families are suitable for men and women, while others, on the contrary, must conform to reality, or there will be conflicts between husband and wife. The division of labor between husband and wife in marriage must be carried out in combination with their own specific circumstances. They must have their own personality characteristics. Only those with personality are energetic.
Bad habit 3: ask each other according to their own habits
After all, husband and wife are two different individuals. After all, they are from two different families. They must have different living habits. For these differences, both husband and wife should tolerate and accommodate, which can be euphemistically pointed out. But don't blame him all the time, especially don't deny him because he is said to be a personality or taste problem on the outline. Both husband and wife should allow each other to have his own differences. They don't have to do it according to their own model. Remind them. Don't hurt the couple's feelings because of these trivial matters.
Bad habit 4: work resentment brought to the home
In modern society, the work pressure is much higher than ever before. When there is pressure, you will inevitably feel upset and need to vent. It is also inevitable that you will be angry in the unit. When you are angry, you will naturally want to vent your anger. However, pay attention to the fact that the work resentment should not be brought to your home too much, and you should not vent your unhappiness outside to your home, because losing your temper will cause unhappiness in the whole family. Of course, it is not to say that the grievances and grievances received outside should not go home. The grievances accumulated in the heart should be properly vented, otherwise it will cause disease, but it should find a suitable time to pour out the depression in the heart to the other party. As a listener, both the wife and the husband should listen patiently, with tolerance and understanding, and help the other party eliminate the depression in the heart as soon as possible, so that the husband and wife can naturally live in harmony.
Bad habit 5: often talk about divorce
The quarrel between husband and wife is the most normal thing in marriage. Couples who never blush should be extremely rare. Couples live together all the year round, and the quarrel cannot be avoided. The key is that different couples deal with each other differently, and the match is naturally different. Some couples talk about the matter as it is, and the next day after the quarrel, as usual, they have no overnight revenge, while some couples will go online on the platform and bring up divorce when they are unlucky. The word "divorce" has become a mantra. Maybe it's okay to say it twice at a time. It will hurt each other's heart if you say it too much, and it will become a reality when you say it. Of course, you just talk about it in a moment of anger, but you should try your best to restrain yourself, and don't talk about divorce lightly. Couples should learn to make big things small when they encounter problems, and never talk about divorce.
Bad habit 6: Don't negotiate, just be happy
A significant difference between marriage and love is, of course, that life is spent by two people together. In case of an event, two people should naturally negotiate together. They should not have a party. They should not just be happy and ignore each other's thoughts and feelings. For example, the problem of how to spend money should be discussed jointly by the husband and wife. They should overcome the liberalism and individualism habits before marriage. They should have a family concept. No matter where they are, they should take into account the existence of the other party, take into account the feelings of the other party, and have the basic self-control to control themselves. Even if they are happy, they will eventually make everyone unhappy.
Bad habit 7: The parents and the in-laws are too clear
Both husband and wife come from different families and have different family and social relations. Everyone has the selfishness to maintain their own family from the bottom of their bones, which is of course not surprising, but after all, people are not controlled by the subconscious. Because of love, the husband and wife come together from different families to form a new family, drinking water and thinking of the source, everyone can not do not want to ignore the original family, can not do not want to ignore their own parents, Of course, no one understands the truth. However, when some specific interests are involved, the couple will have some conflicts. In this case, the couple must pay attention to mutual understanding, learn to think from the other side's point of view, think about what the other side wants and what the other side wants, and take heart to heart. Both the mother's family and the mother-in-law's family should lend a hand in everything, so that the couple can form a benign interaction.
Bad habit 8: always compare other opposite sex with each other and like to satirize others around
Everyone is different. Everyone has his own characteristics and his own advantages. There are not all people with shortcomings or advantages. The key is how you look at it. For a couple, two people who are in love originally, if they encounter things that they don't like each other, some people can't move to compare with other opposite sex they already know, so words such as "seeing how much so-and-so will make money" and "seeing how much so-and-so has temperament" are often put on the lips. Of course, there may be no malice, but the listener has a heart, and such words hurt people's self-esteem and can hit people, so couples must avoid doing so.
Bad habit 9: often return late without reason or stay out at night
Some people are very busy at work, and some people have many friends, so it is common to go home late, and entertainment is also common. This is certainly understandable, and there is no need to blame, but we must master the degree, especially when it is clear that there is nothing important, and when it is busy, we are not busy, and when we are about to leave work, we are busy, and even more, we deliberately return late. Some people do not refuse the invitation of friends at all, and seldom take into account the feelings of their loved ones at home, so there are few opportunities for couples to have dinner together, which will inevitably affect their feelings in the long run.
Bad habit 10: expose each other regardless of time and occasions
Some people think that couples should be casual and say what they want to say, which is also true of course. Couples should be open and frank, and should say what they want, but they must pay attention to time and occasions. Sometimes, they should not say the other side's wrong, especially when accusing and exposing. For example, in front of each other's friends and colleagues, and in front of their children, when a couple criticizes each other, they must pay attention to avoiding it. Even if they want to do so, they must be tactful, so as not to hurt the other's basic human dignity and the other's self-esteem, and hurt the feelings of the couple.
