Post Date December, 03 2023
How common it sounds to put down, forgive and forget. Who doesn't know such old things? However, there are many couples who are really weighing the gains and losses in life, giving up the negativity in memory, and no longer letting those negative memories hinder the intimacy between husband and wife!
Chuang Tzu said, "Son is not a fish. How can you know the joy of fish?" According to some data, fish can only remember 7 seconds. After 7 seconds, it will not remember the past, and everything will become new again. So even in that small fish tank, it will never feel bored, because after 7 seconds, every place just swam has become a new world, so the fish can live in fresh forever. Marriage is like that small fish tank. If we choose to live with another person in this big world, we might as well learn to forget fish.
Forget your grievance
Who can not get hurt when wandering in the Jianghu? The ups and downs in marriage can only blow you when others are beaten? As long as you are not a vegetable, you are doomed to bump and bump in interpersonal relationships, so grievance is not a scarce resource. What's more, a couple of men and women with independent temperament will have to squeeze under the same roof for decades? Why are two people so important just because of your grievance?
Sometimes grievance does not lack substance, but more often it is just an emotion. If you don't forget it, it will accumulate time and time again. Over time, even if that person is honest and does not raise his tail, you will naturally feel that he is "lustful" under the accumulation of this emotion, which is commonly known as unpleasant. It's just that you don't like him. Are you so sure that you are knowledgeable and reserved enough to make him feel unhappy? As a result, it is clear that kindness has been discounted, trust has become far-fetched, and even the posture of hugging is not so natural. That grievance was finally transformed into a lack of intimacy by your good memory. The lack of intimacy has brought new grievances. The vicious circle is doomed to be endless from the beginning!
Forget the inconclusive right and wrong
No matter how good the relationship is, there is a privilege between husband and wife, that is to be unreasonable occasionally. And if there is a big family behind one of the couples, the odds and ends from the third aunt or the seventh aunt's milk can't even be explained. Right and wrong cannot be avoided, but not all right and wrong are worth fighting for, because when rules and feelings are intertwined, they are no longer rules.
But there are still husbands or wives who believe they are right. They must use logical thinking to find answers to emotional conflicts, which is just like playing "Two Springs Reflect on the Moon" with an abacus. The most efficient way to deal with what is doomed to be inconclusive is to forget. Otherwise, I always keep in mind that I can't help but take it out and make an inventory. At this time, the other party may apologize, but if you want to interpret the tolerance and tolerance of others as a confession of guilt, you will not understand the wind and moon. Just think, if you find that your partner has a brain for litigation and loves negotiation, would you also be a little scared? Home is a place to relax. Don't let people think of you as an active volcano that is temporarily dormant.
Forget what you have paid
I know you have endured hardships, and I know you are diligent and frugal. If your family dares to be ungrateful or cross the river and bridge, there is no doubt that he will live up to his death. However, it's really bad to talk about this every day between a good husband and wife, because thanksgiving is not compulsory, especially it needs to be voluntary. Of course, it's harmless to subtly remind you once in a while, but if you always use your sacrifice as a mantra, your gratitude will turn into boredom sooner or later.
No one wants to be in debt for a long time psychologically, because subconsciously, debt means repayment. Since it is for repayment, all the efforts and efforts in the future have become due, even if they are excellent and hard, they have no achievements. Without recognition, we will lose motivation and interest. Are you willing to deprive him of his future contribution to you with what you have paid?
Another thing to remind is that no one will sincerely like to see creditors, whether they are willing to pay their debts or not. When you successfully change your status in the eyes of the other party from a partner to a creditor, your attractiveness will plummet.
Everyone has a book in their heart that records what they think is the most important thing. The happy women use it to collect the laughter along the way, and the sad women use it to carry the tears of the past. Some people are smiling and thanksgiving, while others are moaning and sympathizing. It is not different fate, but different attitude.
Marriage cannot always be as new as new, but it can always be kind and harmonious. As long as the couple are immersed in each other, I would rather be a fish in the face of quarrels, regrets and faults of my lover, and forget everything after seven seconds.
(Intern editor: Cai Junyi)
