Post Date December, 03 2023
Q:
After 15 years of marriage, I have a clear conscience for my parents-in-law, husband and children. I don't understand why a woman who has devoted all her life to her family will still encounter betrayal?
My husband's reaction after I caught him cheating was also quite unexpected. He ignored my questions and criticisms and made a commitment to return to his family at the first time. I don't know how he could be so calm without any shame.
I am afraid that this will not be his first and not his last derailment. I asked him, how can you guarantee? With the level of his husband in the company, if the wind is not good, his future will also be affected. I guess this is probably one of the reasons why he chose to deal with this matter calmly. But he was wrong. I am not a woman who can make trouble. If someone makes trouble, it must be the mistress, not me.
How did he work so hard today? I know best. I just can't understand. The child is sensible and obedient, and doesn't need to worry about adults. As an adult, how can he manage his own behavior and make such betrayal of his family?
He went home today and told me such a result. He negotiated with the third party and told him that the third party had already paid a sum of money to her account. To his surprise, the third party did not charge a break-up fee. The woman did not want any money, and then returned the money to his account. I felt very cold. He didn't feel any regret and guilt when facing me, but the third didn't want his money, but he looked very painful, as if he could not compensate the third, and he felt very sorry in his heart.
In the evening, I saw him staring at his mobile phone in a daze. I grabbed it and read it. It was the message of the junior three, a large paragraph of text, a long paragraph of words, to recall the days they were together, what can't go back, what you owe me, what can't pay back, don't dirty our feelings and so on.
My husband is 20 years older than the junior three. He also knows that it is impossible to have any future with the junior three. This is delaying others. He knows the reason, but he just can't screw it. I asked him if there is any problem with me and what is his dissatisfaction with the family. His answer is very satisfied. All the mistakes are in him. The current situation is that he admitted his mistake, but refused to communicate more. Anyway, he was wrong. He would solve it in his own way, and would not let me ask, nor would he want me to intervene in this matter. I would just continue to be his wife, but what's the point? I feel that his heart is not at home.
I suspect that he may still be in contact with the third, just in a way I don't know, and the third follows him, as if he has real feelings. What should I do in this case?
A:
If he does not have his current wealth, he will not have the charm to attract a third party. When men enter the middle age, they have certain financial and social status, and their family and career tend to be stable. This period is easy to produce a sense of confusion. He was not sure what he wanted to pursue, and he was vaguely uneasy about the passing of physical strength and energy. In this case, young women became a kind of illusory comfort.
Your husband knows that an extramarital affair may destroy his family and career. Judging from his performance, he has considered all kinds of situations after the incident in advance, and even thought of measures to deal with it. But what he did not expect was that the reaction of the third party broke his understanding. He thought that only money could end the relationship between them, and he could return to his family at ease, But I met a third party who was "emotional".
There must be external forces to intervene in the crisis. From the farewell message of the third party, it can be seen that she is not willing, and is a little angry. A relationship is priced with money. Whether this anger and unwillingness will expand into impulsive events is not what you or your husband can handle. The emotions of the third party need to be properly soothed. Your husband and wife relationship needs to be repositioned and repaired. A lot of work needs to be done.
