Post Date December, 03 2023
The researchers said that wives who are five years younger than their husbands are the age group least prone to conflict, and their divorce demography is one sixth of other marriages. In addition, a study by the University of Vienna found that if a husband is 4-6 years older than his wife, he has the most children; The husband is 15 years older than his wife, and although he has not had many children, his marriage is the most fulfilling.
Famous domestic marriage and love treatment experts agree with this. The three major happiness points of this type of marriage have become the pillars of family stability. The first point of happiness is to fulfill the desire of women for a "trinity". Usually, the prince charming, a woman's dream, combines the maturity of her father, the care of her brother and the vitality of her friends. And the husband is older, psychologically more mature, and emotionally more comfortable to give.
The second point of happiness is that older husbands usually have a certain economic foundation, reducing the likelihood of financial disputes. The third happiness point is that there is less competition in the family. As the husband grows older, women naturally develop a sense of dependence and obedience, reducing competition for power between spouses and reducing friction.
If it comes to the disadvantages of this type of marriage, experts believe that generally speaking, the average life expectancy of men is already shorter than that of women. If the husband is much older than the wife, it is likely that the husband will eventually die and the wife will be left alone.
Women, men, and children are also happy
As the saying goes, 'a woman holds a golden brick in her third year of life.' However, in ancient China, there was also a common phenomenon of having a big daughter-in-law and a small husband. Nowadays, the love between siblings is still an indispensable landscape on the marriage map.
In fact, some families where siblings love each other are also very happy. Some men may be young but psychologically mature, while their wives may be older but psychologically still look like young girls. From a psychological perspective, such a family is similar to a family model where men grow up and women grow up.
In other cases where siblings love families, husbands share similar temperament traits, that is, men are not very independent and want to continue searching for the feeling of being cared for by their mothers. For such families, there are often some drawbacks. Firstly, both physically and psychologically, women age faster, while men are still in their prime, which can easily make families unstable. Secondly, age has social significance. In conventional social evaluations, sibling relationships can be confusing and criticized, or derogatory towards men being "not men" or women being "old cows eating tender grass". These external comments can also have a certain impact on the family's walls.
Good communication between men and women of the same age
The age difference between 49 year old US President Obama and his wife Michelle is 3 years, and their 17 year happy marriage is enough to classify them as "ideal couples". Yue Xiaodong, associate professor of the Department of Social Sciences at the Chinese University of Hong Kong, believes that same-age love is not the narrow definition of same-age as we understand it, but rather the fact that both parties are of similar ages and basically belong to the same generation. Men and women of the same age refer to men being the same age as women or men being less than 3 years older than women. It can be said that in the modern concept, this mode of marriage and love is undoubtedly the most ideal.
Yue Xiaodong proposed that the foundation of same-age love lies in the psychological and physiological coordination between the two parties, and this type of marriage is the most sustainable and has six major benefits. One is easy to establish intimate relationships. The second is frequent interaction. The third is synchronous growth. The fourth is consistency in demand. The fifth is the support of family and friends. Six is equality and confidence. In short, same-age couples have similar social experiences, and when encountering life problems, they tend to be more like-minded. However, long-term alignment can lead to the alignment of their thinking and the formation of a common cognitive pattern.
"Although men and women of the same age have many advantages, there will also be some problems just because of equality." It is easy for couples of the same age to compete for rights because of too much emphasis on equality, and they may often fight for "who has the final say".
The more similar the personality, the more loving it is
The above three marriage models all have advantages and disadvantages. Age indeed plays an important role in marriage, but it is not age that truly determines the stability of marriage, "said the expert. Firstly, the English word 'LOVE' is compressed from a Latin sentence that says' love is a lasting concern for the lives of others'.
This demonstrates the true essence of marital love, which is to only love the partner themselves, rather than focusing on external conditions, as we often say, "height is not a problem, age is not a problem, and appearance is not a problem. The less external conditions require, the more stable love becomes.
Secondly, research shows that the closer the personality, the more stable the love. The complementary relationship between husband and wife that people often refer to is that one wants to have but does not, while the spouse has it. This is a form of appreciation, not a completely different personality.
Finally, it is important to have identity. Firstly, after marriage, one must have the concept of integrating with the other party; Secondly, the level of education and life values should be comparable. These are the internal factors that determine the stability of marriage.
(Intern Editor: Liu Ruichang)
