Post Date December, 03 2023
The reason why men are called the backbone of the family is because they are physically strong and because they are psychologically stronger than women. However, in today's society, there are some men with childish hearts. What is the reason for this problem?
In modern society, there are more and more elderly gnawing and cowards among men, making many women feel more and more like "men". According to a survey conducted by a large dating agency, 70% of unmarried women are dissatisfied with their boyfriends due to "weak personality" and "lack of responsibility".
Why are men always so childish
Some men confronted their teachers during their school days, causing their parents to bemoan that they "never grow up"; Establishing a family but not being a home, unable to reconcile conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and being criticized by his wife as "immature"; "After giving birth to children, I still talk about my mother's words and lack assertiveness, like a child.".
In modern society, there are more and more elderly gnawing and cowards among men, making many women feel more and more like "men". According to a survey conducted by a large dating agency, 70% of unmarried women are dissatisfied with their boyfriends due to "weak personality" and "lack of responsibility". There are roughly four reasons why men don't grow up.
Mother dotes on or is too strong
The Chinese family education model emphasizes "strict father and loving mother", with the father responsible for "teaching" and the mother responsible for "nurturing". "Chinese style maternal love" often fails to be measured properly, and affection can easily turn into indulgence, making boys weak and refusing to grow up. Many "pacifier men" have a psychological age of early childhood, which is known as "psychological regression", resulting from oedipus complex, regression consciousness, survival anxiety, and reality avoidance. The cause may be that mothers are too strong, and the family interaction mode is dominated by mothers, with all major and minor matters determined by mothers, affecting the gender role positioning of boys.
Overprotection of the family
Modern parents are afraid of their children's worries and do everything well for them, which can easily lead to excessive protection, making it impossible for their children to make independent decisions due to their unsound personality development in adulthood. Many boys initially resent this protection, but if their parents insist, their children will instead be unable to abandon their dependence on this excessive protection.
Traditional educational concepts
Chinese people generally like "good children" who are obedient and follow the rules. In order to meet their parents' requirements and gain more love and attention from their parents, many boys will stay at home and not be "wild children" or go crazy with "bad children". This can lead to frustration in their interpersonal relationships, inability to obtain support and security, and loss of self-confidence during the process of socialization. Returning to maternal love becomes the first choice, and "my mother said" will naturally come to their lips.
Not working hard
Society places a high value on men, making them choose to avoid responsibility. At this time, parents will help, reducing the number of ways for men to grow themselves, and they will not be able to make their own judgments and decisions when things go wrong.
If a man wants to truly grow up, he must first take the initiative to separate himself from his mother's excessive attention. A true man should take care of his mother as much as he takes care of his wife and children, rather than being taken care of by his mother all the time. Actively undertake work tasks and enhance a sense of responsibility. An occasional self-help tour can not only relieve stress, but also exercise your independence. When encountering difficulties, first of all, try to find ways for yourself rather than seek help from your parents.
Secondly, parents should learn to let go. When a child leaves school and begins to face difficulties in finding a job, finding a partner, and taking care of a baby, it is even more inappropriate to intervene too much. Correctly treat the concept of "treason is the stage of growth", remove constraints on children as early as possible, assign corresponding responsibilities to them, and guide their growth. Don't just focus on learning, but also help boys improve their social skills.
Finally, the wife does not have to be aggrieved and can establish better family relationships through adjustments to the interactive model. Wives can often express their expectations and needs for their husbands and learn to show weakness and "shake hands". Enlarge the shining point of a man, rather than complaining all day long, let alone complaining to your little sister, and hurt your husband's self-esteem.
Whether men or women, it is necessary to gradually mature and strengthen their own psychology. For adults, getting married and having children requires us to have good mental health to better cope.
