What should I do if my wife asks for forgiveness after cheating? Regarding this issue, I believe that as long as it happens to me, it will be very complicated. After all, on the one hand, she is the wife she once loved deeply, and on the other hand, she is the shadow brought by betrayal. Should we forgive her or not? This will help you judge.
What to do if my wife asks for forgiveness after cheating
My wife cheated on me and was discovered by me. Afterwards, she begged me for forgiveness through self harm, but I got stuck in a tangle. It's not that I refuse to forgive her, in fact, I still love her in my heart. It's just that every time I think of the scene of her getting intimate with other men, I get so angry that I feel like I need to kill them before I can release my hatred. I have put up with it enough. There was no domestic violence and I just filed for divorce, but she just didn't agree. She used self harm to retain her marriage, indicating a genuine desire to reconcile. Looking at my poor and hateful wife, I couldn't bear it, but I couldn't make up my mind to forgive her. Can I forgive her?
How to judge if you can forgive her
We have all heard the story of 'fixing a lost sheep', and mistakes are not scary. Identifying and correcting problems is the key. And we have also heard the saying 'dogs cannot change their nature of eating shit'. Some people are prone to emotional problems, and even if we forgive them, they are still easily tempted and make mistakes repeatedly. My wife has had an affair and asked me to forgive her. Should I forgive her?
Firstly, we need to figure out why our wife has an affair. She has always been dissatisfied with her marriage, so she went outside to seek comfort. It was just an accidental accident, and I had to take the path of an affair. If it is the former, as her husband, it is necessary to realistically measure one's own abilities, whether one has the willingness and ability to meet the wife's expectations through change. If you can't achieve it yourself, you can consider letting go of this marriage. If it can be achieved, then consider continuing.
After figuring out why your wife has had an affair, you still need to figure out how long it has been. We all know that whether it is a physiological or psychological problem, the longer the time, the more difficult it is to deal with. The same goes for extramarital affairs. If the wife has had an affair for a short time and she repents and wants to start anew, we can accept her. If she had been having an affair for several years, the likelihood of the two of them getting back together would be much smaller. Because she has become accustomed to not having this family in her life, or the concept of home is already weak in her consciousness, it is difficult for her to return to this family. Even if her rationality tells her that she should return to home, her behavioral habits will automatically widen the distance between her and home.
In addition, it is also important to see if her life has been significantly affected after her affair. The impact mainly refers to whether she can work normally, have normal interpersonal communication, and have normal diet and sleep. If she can still work and sleep normally after an affair, and can also return home normally, but there is another person in her world who has many intersections with her life. In fact, as long as her wife is willing to sever the relationship with that person and return to her family, it is not that difficult. If she becomes restless after an affair, resigns her job, and cannot find her all day, it indicates that she is deeply involved in the affair. It is not an easy task to pull her out.
Finally, it is important to see if the wife has the initiative to request forgiveness after an affair. Some people still want to return to their families after having an affair, and the main factor may not be due to their relationship with their husband, but rather because of their children. If a woman only requests her husband's forgiveness because she doesn't want her child to be harmed. Even if my husband forgives, the relationship between husband and wife is still very fragile, and such a marriage is actually just a name in name. My wife has had an affair and I request forgiveness. Whether or not to forgive her must be analyzed based on the specific situation in order to obtain a more suitable solution.