Post Date April, 15 2023
In 2000, when I was in Wuhan, in the middle of every night, I started pretending to be naive, opening my eyes wide, showing off simplicity to those men, while just tipping in my pocket was increasing day by day. At this time, only money could satisfy and delight me.
Those days of showing off innocence
As a sophomore in a university and from a poor family, I have been relying on work-study to provide for my own education. I have worked as a tutor and have also done promotions in supermarkets, earning very little money. Later, I heard from my classmates that being a wine pusher can earn a lot of money, so I applied to a bar by the river. "I want to work hard for a few months and save enough money so that I can not worry about my family and study at ease, and then take the postgraduate exam at the university where I missed the college entrance exam.". I am accumulating material conditions for my ideal.
In the noisy and disorderly bar, under the bright lights and the green lights, I am young and have a simple and studious temperament. My short hair is aligned with my ears, my shallow eyes are lined with clear, water like eyes under the skin, my small and stubborn nose, and when I smile, there are faint sweet dimples on the corners of my mouth, which naturally exudes a youthful atmosphere. Men who are used to seeing those gaudy women always look at me differently. Therefore, there are often guests who are seated in the stalls who casually rub around on me while ordering alcohol, and being forced to drink is even more common.
At first, my performance was not good because I had never been exposed to such a life. From my heart, I was extremely resistant and afraid of the inevitable harassment. On November 2nd, my 20th birthday, there were no candles, no cakes, and no one to celebrate for me. "On the other day, I also received my first salary, and when I saw a stack of hundreds of yuan bills from others, I only had the minimum base salary. My face was filled with tears, and I hid in the corner of the bathroom and secretly cried. I told myself bitterly that I only lost this time.".
A month later, I met Li Zhaohui. He stopped me outside the bar to get ready to leave work. Can you talk. "I'm very polite to tell him, sir. I'm sorry, but I'm off duty. If you want to buy some wine, come back to me tomorrow.".
You are × A big student, right? He suddenly said. As I was about to turn around and leave, I stopped because of this question.
"I have met you. In the school debate, my son's name is Li Xiaopeng, who is the third opponent. Are you the first opponent? My name is Li Zhaohui, and I often hear Li Xiaopeng mention you. It's nice to meet you." Li Zhaohui stood in front of me with a friendly smile on his face.
I suddenly felt scared because no one knew I was working part-time at a bar. I told my roommate that I was working as a tutor in a place where I needed to sit on the bus for an hour. "Li Xiaopeng has been pursuing me hard in college for more than a year, and I won't agree with him because I have more and more important things to face. I have to earn money to pay tuition fees and support myself. Being in love is too luxurious for me.".
"However, due to this accidental meeting, there were countless connections between Li Zhaohui and me.". "He persuaded me like a loving father to quit my job as a wine pusher, unconditionally paid off my unpaid tuition fees and paid me a full amount of living expenses.".
I finally couldn't help calling him. Is it because of Li Xiaopeng that you are so kind to me? "Maybe," Li Zhaohui said in a hoarse voice. Although I couldn't see his expression, I felt the heaviness in his tone. I felt a heartache for this man for no reason.
I told him we were in love
I think people should have the mentality of repaying kindness. So later, I thought twice and found Li Xiaopeng and promised to be his girlfriend. He danced like a child, holding my hand, and accompanied me to Zhongshan Park to sit on my favorite Ferris wheel again and again. As I reached the highest point of the Ferris Wheel, Li Xiaopeng held my hand and gently kissed my forehead. He gently said, "Xiaoxiao, I love you, let me take care of you forever, okay?" I felt uneasy and lowered my head, blushing, leaning against Li Xiaopeng's arms, tears streaming from the corners of my eyes. Is this happy love? I've been asking myself. I don't know, but at least my heart is warm and full.
I dare not think much about what would happen to me and Li Zhaohui, but a month later, I saw him again.
He was so drunk in a bar that the security guard used the phone he had placed on the table to dial the first name in the phone book, An Xiaoxiao.
When I arrived at the bar, he was already slumped on the sofa in the security room. With all my strength, I managed to get him into the car with the security guard and went to a small hotel nearby to open a room. That night, I didn't refuse to drink from him.
The next morning when I woke up, the room was filled with sweetness. At that moment, I was sure in my heart that I really fell in love with this man. In front of me, there is a small piece of red. Looking at his hesitating gaze, I casually said, "I don't want you to be responsible, but let's fall in love.". Li Zhaohui didn't expect such a result either. He was seriously thinking about how to handle everything that happened between us. He slept beside me, gently holding my face with his hand. Xiaoxiao, you are really a good girl, I'm sorry.
Back at school, I went to meet Li Xiaopeng and said, "I'm sorry, we don't have the same personality.". I told Li Xiaopeng that I had tried, but there was still nothing I could do.
On the other hand, Li Zhaohui and I started dating secretly. Under the dark night, we met carefully in different hotels. We often take different flights to the same city, because in that strange city, we can openly hold hands and strut the streets, as if to announce our close love to the world.
Because of him, I am willing to fall
I love Li Zhaohui deeply, and I am also shocked by his love. He has a burning heart, but just because from the fifth year of marriage, his wife has been focusing on endless careers, regardless of the children, regardless of him. I heard Li Xiaopeng say that he has been living on campus since primary school, and his mother is very careful about him. When he was 7 years old, his mother went abroad for three years of further education, during which time he only returned home four times. His relationship with his mother was very weak, and all he had was deep fatherly love.
Li Zhaohui, on the other hand, only said six words about marriage: "Sorrow is greater than death of heart." But for his son, he has always cooperated with her and maintained a beautiful and harmonious family. Now because of my presence, everything has become different. He has given me all the love he has had nowhere to release for over a decade, and he loves me in every way. Although he can't give me fame, let alone marriage, I don't care about it. As long as he's around me, I'm already satisfied.
Senior, Li Zhaohui in Nanjing
Find me a job. After arranging everything, Li Zhaohui and I were in the hotel. His expression was a bit unnatural and his words were few. I asked him, what's the matter? He just shook his head. It's okay, silly boy, go to sleep. That night, it was the only time we just hugged each other face to face and fell asleep. He hugged me tightly in his arms, not letting go for a moment, as if the power would embed every inch of our skin into each other's body.
The next morning, when I woke up, the room was empty, with Li Zhaohui not there, only a six-figure check lying cold on the bedside table. "I'm sorry. Take care." Li Zhaohui wrote five words on the urinal beside him. I can't bear this ironclad fact.
Li Zhaohui, the man I thought loved me deeply, can also leave me so easily. And that check made me feel like my heart was slightly torn apart. It turns out that for him, I'm just a number.
I started getting drunk in bars every day, laughing and laughing with different men, and indulging myself. Or go to different hotels, but with different men. After wasting my youth every day, I was finally blocked by a runaway married woman at the door of my room, facing the scorching sulfuric acid. Fortunately, I dodged, but it took all my money to save my face.
This is all because of Li Zhaohui. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be willing to degenerate. I want to revenge this man who deeply hurt me. So I returned to Wuhan this year, and I want Li Zhaohui to pay the price for all the pain I have suffered.
A sudden halt to the plan of retaliation
At the entrance of the community, wearing a hat, I saw Li Zhaohui from a distance. After a year of absence, he was much older. I hesitated for a long time, not knowing what way to choose to retaliate against him. Later, I saw a story in a book and made a decision. I'm going to marry into the Xu family and become Li Chaohui's daughter-in-law, which will make him feel bad all his life. This is the best revenge I think.
In fact, I didn't expect it to be so easy to find Li Xiaopeng to renew their relationship. "He really and deeply likes me, and he only recently broke up with his ex girlfriend.". The unforgettable first love made us pick up the fate we had four years ago and start dating.
I didn't want to meet Li Zhaohui so early. However, on June 1st, after watching the movie in Wanda, we happened to meet Mr. and Mrs. Li Zhaohui on our way to shopping. At that time, Li Zhaohui's expression changed. The four of us sat together for an awkward and long dinner.
Last weekend. At Shangdao Coffee, Li Zhaohui and I met. He begged me to forgive him and break up with his son. "I also told him very heartlessly that it was impossible unless Li Xiaopeng didn't want me, but I would try to get him to propose to me.". I can't see my expression, but I know my tone is cold and harsh. Because it was Li Zhaohui who destroyed my whole life, my longing for love and life, I didn't want to make him feel better.
The day before yesterday, I went out with Li Xiaopeng, and in Sweet Honey, I ordered a lot of his favorite dishes, but his expression was not as excited as before. I felt that he already knew something. "We sat face to face quietly for a long time, without even eating with our chopsticks.". "I was about to explain for what reason, but he interrupted me.". Li Xiaopeng spoke with difficulty, "Dad has told me everything, including the relationship you once had with him... It's not that he doesn't love you. It was my mother's strong personality that made him reluctantly give up on you. Xiaoxiao, he didn't want to, but he had to. Moreover, I couldn't possibly accept you and my father. Xiaoxiao, even now, I still bless you, but I hate you all my life..."
I stared at him dumbfounded, my lips twitching, but I couldn't say a word.
What exactly is love? Some people choose to leave when they cannot love, and choose to let the person they love find new happiness. This is true love. Li Zhaohui is like this. He left me in a cruel way, not because he didn't love me. On the contrary, it is because he loves me too much that he doesn't want me to lose my future for him.
The shadow of Li Xiaopeng leaving makes my heart cold. Today, I still have nothing left. But I suddenly felt a little grateful for the result, and everything was over. At least, it was much better than I had expected to spend my entire life trying to revenge someone.
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)
