Post Date December, 03 2023
Recently, a "Weibo flash marriage" incident has been widely discussed on the internet. The "Uncle Behind Me" from Chengdu met a Shanghai woman named "Four Crossroads" on Weibo, and in just 5 days, they agreed to get married after only chatting on Weibo without meeting each other. The female protagonist flew to Chengdu with her household registration book and wanted to register together, with photos attached on Weibo. At the airport, the two of them kissed in public, claiming to be under the supervision of netizens.
Nowadays, "flash marriage" incidents occur frequently, and "Weibo flash marriage" has even pushed the "flash marriage clan" to the forefront of the trend. Is "flash marriage" advisable or not, and what psychological preparations should be made for marriage? Psychologists have analyzed this.
Choose 'flash marriage' or due to a lack of sense of responsibility
For this "Weibo flash marriage" incident, most netizens believe that a healthy marriage first needs to be based on emotions. Even if there is not a deep relationship, at least there must be experience of both parties being able to get along harmoniously. It is unreasonable to choose to get married only after a few days of dialogue without meeting each other online in this era.
If marriage requires the foundation of emotions to be established, then the sense of responsibility of both parties is the fundamental foundation for maintaining marriage and the source of happiness in married life. Psychologists explain that a sense of responsibility is a person's understanding, emotions, and beliefs about their own and others, family, and society's responsibilities, as well as their corresponding conscious attitude towards complying with norms, taking responsibility, and fulfilling obligations. Family and marriage cannot do without a sense of responsibility, which is based on emotions. If a marriage lacks emotions and a sense of responsibility, then couples will not understand and take responsibility. When there are difficulties and setbacks in the marriage, there will be insufficient will to maintain it, and personal desires will lead to the end of the marriage.
Because transitioning from an unmarried person to a married person requires a change in role and many changes, such as the trivial and specific family affairs brought about by life, the other party's family, relatives, and friends, the other party's work, career, and future, the collision of different life views, values, and ideals, the adaptation of different life habits, and so on. These transformations are all a challenge for individuals, requiring sufficient willpower to face them and a sense of responsibility to sustain them.
Therefore, "Weibo flash marriage" only values the freshness of the first feeling and the efficiency of completing the marriage, but neglects the pre marriage preparation and warm-up, and neglects the cultivation of responsibility and loyalty.
Psychological experts: post-80s generation not eligible for "flash marriage"
Professor Shen, a family therapist at the psychological outpatient clinic, is a senior expert in the treatment of marital relationships. According to the analysis of visitors he has received for many years, the number of people experiencing marital problems in today's society is increasing year by year, with visitors mostly in their 20s and 40s. The main reason why couples in their twenties experience cracks in their marital relationships is due to their lack of rationality in dealing with marital issues, strong sense of responsibility, and resilience. They are prone to the phenomenon of "flash marriage and divorce", and many people come to seek advice only when they find out that they have many problems together after getting married.
He said that compared to the '80s generation' in their twenties, middle-aged people tend to prioritize economic and specific life factors for their reasons for marriage and divorce. Therefore, the success rate of middle-aged people choosing "flash marriage" will be relatively higher because their thinking will be more rational and the foundation of marriage will be more solid.
However, those born in the 1980s who are still in the early stages of their careers or even entering society, due to their limited personal experience, lack comprehensive thinking, and are prone to emotional use, tend to think too simply about marriage, believing that "as long as the first feeling is good, emotions can be gradually developed", "fathers often get married without love", and so on. However, they do not take into account the pressure in today's society and the various changes after marriage, After getting married suddenly, it is discovered that it is not suitable, which can cause a lot of pain. If there is no longer enough emotional foundation, one will have to be hurt by the "flash marriage" in the end.
