Post Date December, 02 2023
Shu Qi, the heroine of If You Are the One 2, said at the film conference, "You must try before you get married. You can marry after you try." Premarital cohabitation and trial marriage are very common among the post-80s generation. But the latest research found that the divorce rate of couples who began cohabiting before marriage is as high as 19%, which is much higher than that of couples who started cohabiting after marriage. This has brought great panic to lovers who are trying to marry or are preparing for trial marriage.
In the consulting cases received by Ms. Julie, the chief marriage expert of Absolute 100, many friends also raised questions such as "Should we try marriage?" In this regard, Ms. Julie analyzed the advantages and disadvantages of trial marriage for the majority of netizens, and gave some suggestions and advice to lovers.
What are the benefits of trial marriage?
The biggest advantage is that cohabitation before marriage can fully understand the character, behavior and lifestyle of your partner, which is impossible without living together. Only when two people live together can they get to know each other carefully and comprehensively, and see the most real each other.
Two unique individuals live under the same roof, need to coordinate their own habits and desires, need to share power and control, need to make joint decisions on family affairs, and learn to compromise and adapt. In this process, both sides can know whether they are really suitable for each other.
What problems might trial marriage face?
1. Division and cooperation of family affairs
The feeling of love is always good, but when you really live together, you will find that there are many trivial things to face in life. To deal with these trivial matters, we need a running-in process. If the running-in is not good and the division of labor and cooperation is not reasonable, it will lead to the psychological imbalance between the two sides, which will lead to conflicts.
2. Re-recognize the truest one another
After trial marriage, both parties often see the most real side of each other, including living habits, behavior style, personality characteristics, emotional management, etc. Often, the true side of the other side will fall short of the impression left in love, which requires both sides to adjust themselves, correct their too perfect impression of the other side, and re-accept the complete and true other side.
If both parties can't adjust themselves at any time and try to accommodate themselves with the attitude of introspection and tolerance, it may lead to more and more conflicts and feelings will become weaker and weaker.
What preparations should be made before the trial marriage?
One is emotional preparation, and the other is psychological preparation.
Emotionally, it should be that both sides feel that they have reached enough depth and thickness to love each other sincerely; Not because of psychological or physical loneliness.
The psychological preparation includes: both parties have independent personality and ability, and can be independently responsible for their choice of trial marriage; Have a mature and objective understanding of love and marriage, neither idealized nor negative; Have a reasonable psychological expectation of the trial marriage life, enjoy the sweetness and happiness it brings, predict the possible contradictions and disappointments, and face and solve the possible problems with a peaceful attitude; Cherish each other, be sincere and firm, and never give up easily.
Finally, Ms. Julie, the chief marriage expert, would like to remind friends who are facing choices:
Trial marriage is a matter of choice. For different people, due to different factors such as personality, concept, mentality and feelings, trial marriage will have different results. The most important thing is to see whether two people's feelings have reached a certain depth, and whether they have enough confidence and tolerance to bear each other's shortcomings and imperfections. If your answer is yes, a period of close contact before marriage should play a positive role in the stability of marriage.
