Post Date December, 03 2023
At the end of last year, my husband attended a friend's party and met a woman at the party.
He arrived home around 2 o'clock in the second half of the night that night. Due to drinking a lot of alcohol and going to bed at home, his phone kept ringing on the coffee table. So I opened my phone and saw the message sent by the woman, which was mostly about caring words. The next day, I talked to my husband about texting. At that time, he didn't admit that the person who sent the text message was a woman. After I called him, he said he was just an ordinary friend and told me that he wouldn't have any more interactions in the future. I believed what he said, but my intuition told me that they had been communicating, and the fact also proved my hypothesis.
A few days ago, after he came back from a drink, his phone kept ringing. When I opened it, I saw a text message from the woman, which even said that I love him, want to live with him, and even want to have a child for him. The next day, my husband and I had a big fight. He said that nothing had happened between him and that woman, and it was always the woman's wishful thinking. The woman had been calling and texting him all the time, and he had never done anything wrong to me. I asked him to type out the phone lists for the past few months, and I want to prove what he said. If he doesn't call, he says I'm just making trouble by flipping through his phone all day to investigate the thief with the police. He needs his own space.
I want to talk to that woman, but he said she doesn't have the right to talk to me. He doesn't want anything to happen to that woman. But the woman's personal behavior of texting and making phone calls is not related to him. I also know in my heart that their relationship has not reached an uncontrollable point, it is just a woman's wishful thinking. What should I do? Shall I talk alone or in person? I don't know which choice can make a woman know that her wishful thinking is fruitless.
Ms. Shi:
From your story, you still believe that your husband will not engage in infidelity, but you are not very confident in controlling the situation. Therefore, if you are worried, you can understand by checking his phone.
Your husband's statement that he wants "his own space" already reflects that your marriage is having problems. He said it was the woman's wishful thinking, and you also believe it is. So, please calmly think about where your marriage is going wrong? What is your bottom line?
If you firmly believe that your husband will not be unfaithful to you, then continue to believe in him, but do not check any of his privacy, including his phone/QQ, even if you feel that they are still in contact, do not check, because if you check, it will only make you unhappy and have no impact on your husband.
As for the other party, you don't need to meet anymore. I believe your husband can solve this problem.
There are some things that don't need to be verified, just need to be resolved. Understanding the details is not beneficial for you. If you don't know how to proceed, you can adopt the advice of a marriage expert.
