Post Date December, 02 2023
Q:
I am almost forty years old, and my child has already entered junior high school. Since we were married for more than ten years, many things have happened in our marriage. If I come together, I can't finish talking for days and nights, so I will make a long story short.
I only had a child after my husband and I were married for three years. My husband loves chatting online, and when the child was five months old, I found out that my husband and a woman online were "married" and referred to each other as husband and wife. At that time, I didn't pay much attention, and taking care of the children and having to work, so I didn't have the heart to mind this matter. But gradually I realized that something was getting worse and worse. He would often argue with me about some small things in life, always telling me in front of me how much his ex girlfriend cared about him and treated him well, saying I didn't take him seriously, and so on. If I contradicted him, he would always say that he didn't want to live this life anymore, let's divorce!
This year we went home together for the Chinese New Year, and he met that female netizen who is also in our group. He came back and told me that the woman really likes children, no matter whose family's children she likes. What does that mean! I was actually quite angry at the time, but when I calmed down later, I realized that since my husband had voluntarily told me about their meeting, it showed that they were innocent, so I didn't argue with him much.
But once he fights now, he says he's getting divorced. I feel like he's going to break my heart if I keep going. Teacher, do you think his behavior has really changed his heart? Does he really want to divorce me?
The problem is that the child is so old, and he himself is not young, how could he still have such unreliable thoughts?
Answer:
A married man and another woman calling each other husband and wife online, this ambiguous game, can be sure that he has an "attempt" in this regard. According to your description, your husband enjoys chatting with this female netizen, which indicates that he has emotional needs. And this relationship, which was born during lactation, has continued to this day, even to the point where it is almost the same age as your marriage. I can't help but say that you have neglected in this regard.
By the way, how long has it been since your husband and wife had in-depth communication? In recent years, have you neglected your husband's emotional needs due to being busy with work and taking care of children? Just like he always says that you don't care about him and don't take him seriously, it indicates that he has a need for emotional communication. Perhaps this is the reason why he can easily get angry and divorce over a small matter.
Nevertheless, the situation has not yet reached an uncontrollable or extremely bad level, otherwise it may have been divorced long ago. He always mentions divorce, just to show that he has this impulse. So, it's better to have more women's delicacy and tenderness, communicate more with each other in a more leisurely atmosphere, and guide them to have intimate contact with their children. On the one hand, it can help you alleviate some of the hardships, while allowing them to experience and enjoy the fun of family. Once the marital situation improves, perhaps everything can return to normal. In short, it is crucial to prevent him from further developing with female netizens.
