Post Date December, 02 2023
Q:
My husband is a truly filial son. I'm not saying it's bad, but he is obedient to his mother-in-law in everything, which really hurts our marriage.
Before marriage, the two of us were very happy, and he respected me very much. Later, I found that this might be because he was used to being obedient to women, especially his mother. In front of his mother, all other people's opinions can be ranked back. What my mother-in-law said was "imperial edict".
My husband and I have been married for nearly three years now. In these three years, I can hardly avoid quarrels with him every day.
From my point of view, I think that when my husband listens to his mother too much, and I disagree with my mother-in-law, the conflict between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very serious. Every quarrel is inextricably linked with his mother. No matter what matters, my husband always goes to talk to my mother-in-law, and then comes back to let me do what they want.
The mother and son quarreled with me when they quarreled, which made me angry. This family makes me feel that my mother-in-law wants to control everything, while my husband is like a young child who dare not leave his mother at all. He quarreled with me with his mother, which made me desperate. I can hardly see where my way out is? Can this marriage be better?
A:
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been vividly called a battle between two women because of its "messy" and "harsh" nature. In the eyes of mother-in-law, no matter how perfect a woman is, she is not necessarily worthy of her son, which will inevitably make the spoiled new daughters-in-law at home feel aggrieved.
After listening to your description, I want to ask you a few questions. Do you live with your mother-in-law? What did your husband hear from his mother-in-law? Why does my husband tell his mother about all the important and minor things? Is it because he didn't handle some things with his husband that led him to complain to his mother-in-law? Or is it because you and your mother-in-law have an argument, and you are angry because you haven't got justice from your husband? Your mother-in-law is your husband's mother. No matter what happens between you and your mother-in-law, since you accept your husband, your mother-in-law is no longer an outsider. Please treat your mother-in-law kindly.
Your husband talks to his mother-in-law about everything, which has a lot to do with his life habits and growth experience. After you were married for three years, your husband was so dependent on his mother that he listened to her and asked her for advice on everything. On the one hand, it was a headache, but on the other hand, if the emotional transfer of such a husband was successful, he would also listen to his wife in the future, because his life needed to have women-led opinions. The premise is that you must live independently and help your husband break away from the customary pattern of the original family.
If you still love your husband, take care of the family. Even if you can't resolve the opposition, you should try to dilute it. Although not everyone can learn patience and generosity, I believe you can make your marriage reborn. Only a happy and harmonious family can bring happiness to you and your lover.
