My husband and ex girlfriend are on a business trip in the same city, and I have some tricks

Chief Complaint of the Case

My husband and I used to be colleagues, and we had an underground relationship back then because the company prohibited internal employees from dating. Before I told my husband, I didn't tell him that I had a boyfriend I was dating. When my husband got closer to me, it was the most difficult time for me and my boyfriend to get along. When my husband appeared at this moment, I naturally left him without hesitation and started dating him.

In order to get married, I resigned from my original company. However, after getting married, I found out that my husband's temper was too bad. He had previously concealed himself well, and he was not as good as he was at home in the company. I am actually only gentle in front of him, and my original personality is also strong. In short, after marriage, both of us became more real, our temper was uncontrollable, and our lives were filled with various arguments. Nevertheless, we never thought about saying we wanted a divorce.

The incident happened in early April this year when the company sent him on a business trip to Beijing for a month. Originally, he only had to go for a week, but something happened and he couldn't make it for a week. Therefore, his husband continued to stay in Beijing. During our separation period, he was busy and could only contact me at 90 pm a day to chat on QQ or something. There wasn't much going on originally, okay, but around mid April, I accidentally logged in to his QQ on my home computer. It wasn't intentional, I never looked at him like this.

Unfortunately, I didn't immediately exit that day. I looked at his recent contacts and found that the one who chatted with him the most was actually his former girlfriend, our two former colleagues together!

Moreover, what's even more excessive is that during their chat time, he often tells me that he's spending time with clients for meals or meetings, which means he's lying to me. He's not as busy as he claims. He complained to the woman about our current marriage, saying that he was not happy, and revealed his nostalgia for them in his words. He also said that he married me because his parents urged him at the time, not because he had carefully considered and decided it himself.

I was cold hearted, so I went to ask him what he meant and if he didn't plan to have sex with me. He explained, 'No, it was his ex girlfriend who first found him that he politely left a message because I kept a secret when I asked him and didn't tell him how I saw it. I wanted to see how much truth he would tell me, so he didn't know their chat records. I saw everything and thought I only knew he had replied.', I don't know what he said to his ex girlfriend, so he's still making up nonsense.

I contacted a colleague from my previous company to inquire about my husband's performance at the company, but was politely informed that your husband had someone else behind his back outside. They also reminded me to pay attention to someone, who is his ex girlfriend. Now it is said that he has jumped to another company with whom he has business dealings.

My husband explained that he had no idea about her at all. I didn't believe it at the time, so I took a leave and went to Beijing. Without telling him, I found my husband's hotel and found out that he was with his ex girlfriend. The two of them came out of the hotel together. How can I believe that he hasn't had an old flame with his ex girlfriend?

I want to get a divorce, but my husband doesn't agree and doesn't admit it. He only says that his ex girlfriend is involved in work related business dealings. My husband came home on May Day, and I have been very irritable for the past two months. Recently, my ex girlfriend seems to have gone on a business trip to Guangzhou, but unfortunately, my husband has a business to discuss in Guangzhou next. I feel very uncomfortable inside and don't want to see them both in the same city. What should I do now? When we don't argue, my husband treats me and my family well. I'm upset and don't know if I want to divorce him.

Expert diagnosis

You should use this incident to find out the crux of your marriage, what went wrong, and the emotional control issues that were not exposed during love became the main cause of your emotional discord after marriage. But this is definitely not the direct reason why he contacted his ex girlfriend. Sometimes the causes of extramarital affairs are very complex, including the lack of self-control of the cheating party, and more likely including intentional and subconscious approaches from third parties. The atmosphere can be created. If the atmosphere between him and his ex girlfriend is better than the feeling when you are alone due to so-called business dealings, then you really need to be careful.

Imagine, when you encounter a problem, your instinctive reaction is divorce, which is very intense and there is no way out. However, if the attitude of a third party or ex girlfriend is calm and accepting, then now the husband still chooses you. If the temperature of your relationship continues to drop, will he start to change his original thoughts?

Many men do not want to divorce and marry a third party, often due to the wife's unwillingness to do so, which pushes them out of their existing marriage.