Post Date December, 03 2023
Introduction: I still remember that a foreigner roast about "the end of marrying a Chinese wife" some time ago, and the description of helplessness and joy to Chinese people caused widespread controversy. In fact, for foreign sons-in-law who have married Chinese girls, mother-in-law has something to say
With the increasing trend of immigration and study abroad, cross-border marriage has naturally become a common phenomenon. When cultures from different countries converge in a small family, there are many frictions, one of which is the cultural friction caused by Chinese mother-in-law encountering a foreign son-in-law. Only Chinese mother-in-law can deeply appreciate the helplessness and heartbreak involved.
Roast 1. The American son-in-law loves to volunteer every day without income
Chinese mother-in-law, also abbreviated as A, and so on.
A has an only child daughter who, in her early years, followed the trend of studying abroad and sent her to study abroad. Her daughter lived up to expectations and worked hard during her school years. After graduation, she successfully found a good job in the local area. She planned to stay for a long time because she values the atmosphere of freedom and independence abroad. Although a mother couldn't bear to part with her, she loved her daughter so much that she couldn't resist her, so she had to agree. Afterwards, they naturally met their current foreign husband locally, and the two later got married and settled down.
So the problem arose. A's son-in-law is a genuine American who advocates pursuing his great dreams. His job is to volunteer in the community, and he has no other income. The couple still live in a small apartment. After hearing such news, A shook his head frequently, afraid that his daughter would suffer with a foreign son-in-law. After discussing with his daughter, A sold off the domestic property and used the money to help her son-in-law buy a house in the city where they lived. He also moved in. However, after his mother-in-law moved into his new house, the son-in-law did not show much gratitude to her. Instead, he felt that taking care of his mother-in-law like a nanny caused many inconveniences in his life, and the "excessive care" in life seemed to infringe on his privacy, and the relationship with his wife became increasingly tense.
In the end, helplessly, at the request of her husband, the daughter had to send her mother to a local welfare home to maintain her marriage. If they are elderly people from abroad, living in nursing homes is a normal way of life, and for traditional Chinese culture, this can be said to be a very unfilial behavior of their children. Or for this foreign son-in-law, in his values, this is the right choice, and this poor Chinese mother-in-law cannot return to China in the end, and there is no place to settle abroad, so she can only spend the rest of her life alone abroad.
Roast 2. Foreign son-in-law and daughter AA system mother-in-law paste money to support their daughter
Another typical Chinese mother-in-law, B, whose daughter has received overseas education since high school. As a single mother, B has always felt that she owes her daughter a debt, coupled with her busy work schedule and lack of time to take care of her daughter's life, so she always tries to meet her child's material needs as much as possible. My daughter has an independent and headstrong personality. Due to her abundant material resources since childhood, she has developed a habit of stretching out her clothes and eating freely. After graduation and working, although she already has a fairly high paying job, she often asks her mother for money to live on. Later on, she married a local person abroad and they lived a very Western style life. All the bills in life were always settled by the couple's AA system. So it became a top-notch situation: the mother-in-law bought a house for the couple to live in, the foreign son-in-law paid the rent for their own house, and the old lady also gave her daughter a large amount of pocket money every month to ensure her high daily expenses. However, as a husband, the foreign son-in-law even had to share the payment with his wife when they went to a restaurant. After the birth of her grandson, the old lady also has to go and work as a nanny for them, and all the expenses are also borne by the mother-in-law.
Perhaps this is a common way for couples to get along in foreign countries, but with the addition of an unconditional mother-in-law who raises an adult daughter in the middle, the entire picture also develops in a deformed direction. In fact, it is not uncommon for mother-in-law to make unilateral sacrifices like this. Some elderly women, in their 70s and 80s, even learn English with great enthusiasm in order to communicate with their son-in-law. The son-in-law, at a young age, has never thought about understanding the elderly's Chinese learning. Foreign in-laws are never like Chinese in-laws who take care of their childbearing daughter-in-law. Everything is done by Chinese mother-in-law, and the difference is too great.
