Post Date December, 03 2023
Sometimes it feels as if the current love relationship has been frozen, bogged down in the mire, or has been enchanted for some time to pause. In short, it has entered a "stagnant" state. Not serious enough to break up, but unable to feel the love of each other. "This stagnation can keep the emotional state sliding downward, and it is necessary to pay close attention to this warning signal, rather than waiting for it to improve itself.".
How many times has he asked her to be on time; And whenever he wants to find her, she never turns on her phone? All the quarrels are the same condemnation, endless.
The feelings of the partners are much the same as Bill Murray's situation in the movie "Groundhog Day" - trapped at a time point, and every day's experience is the same as yesterday's.
However, this terrifying sense of a dead end is actually an illusion. A pair of partners cannot be stationary. A pair of partners is a constantly changing system, and partners constantly react to each other, either moving towards each other or leaving each other; Either everything is getting better or everything is getting worse.
If we accept the fact that relationships can never be static, we will know that if we stumble over each other, we will be in a downward spiral. To get out of this state, action is the only way to reduce conflict.
It's simple to say, but it's not easy to actually implement it: we should use fewer punches and take more moves. Even if you feel injured, react relatively gently; Send a positive signal despite concerns that the other party may categorically refuse. A partner is not our enemy, and he is also seeking a loving relationship.
The feeling of being still is a warning sign. At the moment of a dispute, we can't detect the other person's intentions at all, so we feel that the other person doesn't care about me at all. Once we let each other know again that he is important, it will be the beginning of a positive upgrade.
Next, we respond to the other person's attention with more attention, just like when we first fell in love with him, we can't help but strengthen each declaration of love we receive before reflecting it back. Kiss, write a soft, watery note, share your thoughts, or give each other unique gifts.
We receive praise and admiration, and then give back more praise and admiration. "We actually understand this very well. Surprisingly, partners are not very aware that they can perform well, which is due to our psychological tendency to always pay attention to negative things and ignore positive ones.".
What if a partner, as always, ignores the attention and actions we give him, even if we confess that we have made mistakes, and he still rumbles? At this point, he can only face the fact that if we cannot find out together what makes him persist, he is joking about our love.
"We don't want love to become a job, but we have to manage relationships," just as a moving car always has to be driven, because relationships can never be static.
