Post Date April, 15 2023
Fanger, 29 years old, works in a state-owned enterprise. My husband works in a scientific research unit. We have a lovely daughter who is going to school next year.
When we first got married, we didn't live with our grandparents, so we still felt harmonious with each other. After having a child, on the one hand, my mother-in-law loves her very much and wants to see her every day; On the other hand, we do need someone to help us. So, we moved back to our mother-in-law's house to live. I didn't realize until I was living with my mother-in-law that they had so many quirks, such as having to wake up on time every day and not taking children outside to play. Even if my relatives came to see my children, they would politely ask them to take off their coats in the hallway, wash their hands, and then enter the house, which made me feel embarrassed at my mother's house.
With the increasing dual pressure of work and life, my husband's temper is also getting worse. He often makes mistakes in his work, often suffers from insomnia at night, and is prone to swearing at me. Once I had a few arguments with her, and he even hit me, causing me to run back to my mother's house in the middle of the night. Although he apologized to me afterwards, my heart was already cold.
Faced with such a harsh family situation, I often shed tears alone. At this moment, another member of the opposite sex entered my life. He grew up in the countryside and lived with his wife's family after getting married. His wife often travels, even if she doesn't, due to the significant differences in family backgrounds since childhood, the two of them don't have much common language. At that time, the woman showed that he was a college graduate from a prestigious school, and he showed that the woman had a house at home. Therefore, he also felt very lonely. When he's free, he often chats with me and occasionally treats me to dinner, praising me for being kind, understanding, and respectful. I feel very relaxed when interacting with him. My husband has the kind of boyish personality that he doesn't have at all, and he is particularly considerate.
At the moment, I really want to leave my husband immediately and be with him. He also verbally promised me that if I divorce, he will divorce. But whenever I see my daughter's attachment to her husband, I feel a bit unbearable. What do you think I should do?
Emotional Helper:
Hello! From the situation you have described, your heart seems to be in a state of chaos. Let me help you smooth the strands from the beginning, so that you can quickly distinguish your features.
Let's talk about the relationship between you and your husband first. Before having children, you were quite harmonious, indicating that you still had many common interests with each other. After having children, the burden of household chores has become heavy, which is indeed a significant burden for those of you who have been cared for like stars and moons since childhood. Moreover, they had to work together with their grandparents under the same roof, and the elderly also had some habits that ordinary people couldn't accept.
When a son knows that his parents are wrong, it's not easy to speak up (maybe it's useless), and it's not easy to say that his parents are not right in front of his wife, so your husband is often just a piece of "double-sided tape". As for the issue of his increasing temper, imagine which company is not very competitive now, and his work is no longer easy. When he returns home, he needs to bear the full range of love from his parents while also comforting his somewhat sorrowful wife. Can he not be tired? As for his habit of using bad language, I think it may be a manifestation of depression. If a person becomes depressed, they are not only prone to cursing, but also impulsive. In severe cases, they are likely to regret things for a lifetime. Therefore, I suggest you take him to the psychological department of the hospital to see if he is diagnosed with a disease, and it is best to seek treatment as soon as possible.
If he is really sick, please think about it. He is a patient and one is your relative. Can you fight against him?
Even for the sake of your daughter, the crystallization of your love, you should calmly consider your marriage issues.
Let's talk about another emotional issue you are currently facing. First of all, you must ask yourself: if the latter did not appear, would your current discomfort with your husband be the same as now? When a person is hungry and cold, even if someone gives him a greasy cotton padded jacket, he may be a treasure. I'm not saying this to slander your relationship. But I want to ask you, do you really know this person that well? If he doesn't live with his wife's family now and her frequent business trips have made him feel lonely, will he treat you like he does now?
Your current family situation is indeed sympathetic, but if you start another emotional entanglement before clarifying the marital matters, it is like a person who has been seriously injured and has not cleared their wounds before starting a new game. In this way, it is likely to cause new wounds to be added to the old wounds, leading to mixed infections and even sepsis, endangering life.
It's difficult to say things about emotions too clearly, but it's still easy to distinguish things in life. Both men and women must first understand responsibility. Divorce is sometimes not a bad thing, but marriage is definitely a big decision in life. Whoever you marry must not act hastily based on temporary emotions. I hope you think twice and ask yourself: If it weren't for the opposite sex, would you still want to give up your current marriage.
