Just seven months after marriage, my husband and I have quarreled for more than half a year

My husband and I have been married for seven months. He is a sailor. We meet once every six months. We have been quarrelling for more than half a year. It's all trivial things. Basically, it's my temper and mood. I hope he can coax me seriously once, but every time he let me play, and then deal with it coldly. After a day or two, finally say "make up", don't want to quarrel, as the end.

This time, I was in a bad mood again. I slammed the door and went out. The people in the evening stayed outside for five hours. The people in the winter and in the evening were freezing. He didn't even have a phone call. Later, I used qq to attack him, but he still didn't respond. Later, I felt very disappointed and couldn't go back by myself. When I went back, I slept in different rooms. At midnight, he asked me to go to his room, but I didn't go.

The next day I went to work, and he ignored me all day. In the evening, qq asked me what to eat. i was still angry. i said i never wanted to leave work so badly. After work, I ate outside and walked back for a while. He hugged me when he came in. I pushed him away and he came back. I don't want to make up with him like this. I think if I make up with him like this, he won't care about me next time I leave home. Then I opened the door again. I had no keys, cell phones, and wallet with me. After wandering outside for two hours, I froze into a dog again. Then I went back. When he got home, he gave me a cold back, and I went back to the house alone. Then he sent me a message to tell me that I was tired of such a life. He said it was particularly sad and literary. Finally, let's say divorce!

The final result is that I don't want to be gentle at all. What I want is a divorce! I began to seriously consider this matter. What should I do?

reply:

This is often the case. Women often use quarrels and emotions to gain men's attention and care. In fact, this is not a wise move. Although sometimes quarreling with the other party is not out of their own intention, although they think it is trivial, but over time, small conflicts will evolve into big conflicts, which will accumulate constant damage in the other party's heart, because meaningless quarrels will consume each other's energy and feelings, and will slowly create a certain gap in the marriage relationship.

I don't understand. You have just been married for seven months. It can be said that you are a newlywed. Normally, the sweetness of the honeymoon has not completely subsided. Besides, because of the particularity of your husband's career, you can only see each other once every six months. It's not easy. As the saying goes, a farewell is better than a newlywed. There should be endless words and endless love between the two people together. How can we get together without stop quarreling! You have to admit that you are basically playing with your temper. It seems that you have more problems. The purpose of doing this is to hope that he can coax you seriously.

Don't you think you are very smart? In the words of our Northeast people, how can that happen! Even so, you may always feel aggrieved. You use your own imagination to gain your husband's enough attention to you, prove his love for you from his heart, and hope that he can coax you in every way when you lose your temper, follow you, accommodate you, and then you get a sense of satisfaction from it, right? If this situation is in the state of passionate love, I believe that men can do it, but after marriage, women still want to claim this sense of superiority, I'm afraid it is not realistic, because love is short, because marriage is different before and after marriage, because men's patience is limited. Maybe everyone's personality is different, and the handling of some specific things is different. You should understand what your husband's personality is, and what kind of way to do things. Don't do things hard for him.

It is unavoidable for couples and lovers to quarrel, but there should be a limit to the quarrel. It is better to control it until the point is reached. Don't make endless noise about one thing, especially for trivial matters. Don't argue endlessly. trivial matters are trivial matters, but often because each other can't control their emotions well, let small things become big things, even worse, and finally hurt the couple's feelings. Personally, if the so-called trivial matters between husband and wife are not handled well, even if they fight for it, or even go to divorce, it must be the deeper reason behind the crisis of marriage, rather than the simple impulse.

So, maybe it's really you who made great efforts. In your talk, your husband didn't make any response and concession. Although his performance didn't meet your expectations, if you are smart enough and cherish this marriage, you should know how to stop it, and give yourself a stage in time, instead of just clinging to it, and finally let the feelings fall into embarrassment and the marriage fall into rigidity. I think the biggest contradiction between you is probably the contradiction of character, not the contradiction of principle, so you can't go to divorce for this. You all need to let each other sit down and communicate with each other in a calm state, and then review and influence each other, express your true thoughts and needs in time, and strive for the understanding of each other, so as to continuously resolve the conflicts and estrangements between each other, and turn hostility into friendship, so as to promote the harmony and harmony of marriage. Don't be too serious because of your husband's angry words. If you have grievances, he also has grievances. Only by mutual concession and compromise can you manage a good marriage.