Isn't a daughter-in-law who doesn't want to live with her mother-in-law a good daughter-in-law

My husband and I met by chance at a job fair. At that time, we were both in line, and he was ahead of me. During the long waiting time, we had been chatting and got to know each other. I left each other's contact information, but I didn't think much about it at that time. I just thought this person was good, he pursued me, and I later agreed to socialize.

When I was first with my husband, his income was very low and not enough for my living expenses. At first, we rented a house together, and I paid the rent and various expenses. Later, my parents bought a house in Shanghai under my name, so we moved in first.

At that time, my husband and I were not married yet, but later got married. I told my parents that the house would be returned to them because it was relatively small and they couldn't live in it even after having children. We lived here in vain for three years, and my parents didn't ask us for a penny, but my husband was still not satisfied and said that this house should belong to us because it has appreciated a lot. But the money for buying a house was all from my parents, and I didn't want it.

In this situation, I took out all my savings and borrowed tens of thousands from my parents to buy a two bedroom apartment. Until now, I have almost paid the down payment and monthly payment for the house, and my income is not low. I have invested all my income into our family, and all the living expenses are from me. I didn't say anything because since I married him, I will treat him wholeheartedly.

My husband has one brother and one sister. They were all doing well in their studies at the time, but they all came out to work before finishing middle school. Their family did not provide them with education. My husband went out to work at the age of 16 to pay off their debts, and his sister also came out at the age of 14. They came out first, and all the money they earned in the past few years was paid off to their families. Now that his parents are only in their early fifties, they don't do anything and enjoy themselves at home every day, just wanting to ask their children for money.

In rural areas, my husband's parents complained that the conditions were not good. My husband's sister bought a house in the local city, but now they want to sell the house in the city to Shanghai. My husband is a traditional person who insists on his parents spending time with us. I really can't stand it: firstly, his parents always lean towards his brother, giving him everything in the house when they moved to the city; Secondly, his parents' living habits are very different from ours. I am a very clean person, but their hygiene habits are very poor. Anyway, there are still many inconveniences to come. Besides, it's so hard for me to buy a house, they never ask about it. The decoration is so busy and tiring, and it's all done by me alone. My dad showed me the scene. My husband is very busy at work, so he doesn't care about anything.

I am imbalanced in my heart. I have put in so much effort and put in so much effort for my happiness, and they never care. As soon as I finished decorating the house, they were coming, and without even asking me, people had already arrived.

I don't agree with them having sex with us. My husband said he would divorce and he would rather be single than with his parents. I'm really sad, I just don't want to live with my grandparents. Is that wrong? I told my husband that I have no objection to how much money you give them. Filial piety should be given to the elderly. Anyway, they gave birth to you, but filial piety doesn't necessarily have to be spent together. My husband just doesn't agree, and I'm going crazy.

Ms. Zhao:

We must adhere to principles and strictly adhere to our bottom line. Otherwise, in this family, you will be hot headed and lack support. Do you also not want to survive in concessions in the future?

At the beginning, there were opinions. The gap in lifestyle habits is so large that if we really live together, the future conflicts can be foreseen. You might as well tell your husband truthfully that when the time comes, the family will be in a state of turmoil, and it will be you, not him, who wants a divorce. If he insists on keeping his parents in Shanghai, he can rent another household in a nearby community for the elderly to live in. Don't rush to sell the original house in the city yet. Let's stay for a while and see if the two elderly people are comfortable living in Shanghai.

My husband's divorce is just a verbal threat. In your current family, if you put in money and effort, he really has a mind and can't really divorce you for a while at most.