Post Date December, 03 2023
If you are in a profession that requires quickly establishing relationships and starting conversations with strangers, such as sales, journalism, police, negotiation experts, etc., then the following conversation skills can definitely help you! Relationship psychologists have summarized four steps for interpersonal communication, which will help you quickly remove the other person's vigilance and win their favor.
1. Find common topics
If the person you are interviewing is a manager of a technology company, but he loves country music in his spare time, then doing some preparatory work for this topic and understanding the characteristics of his favorite country singers will greatly help you in your conversation. He will feel like you are a bosom friend, and the distance between the two parties will also be shortened in an instant. When chatting without ambition, being relaxed, and not being aggressive can make the other person relax their guard and create a sense of closeness to you. Another example is that the client you are visiting is an old lady who is very fond of her cat. If you start talking about raising a cat, you can quickly find common topics and remove her vigilance towards you.
2. Avoid sensitive topics
If you ask a stranger what they think of premarital sex, he will definitely find you very abrupt, and even if you answer, it may not necessarily be true. When you have to mention issues that make the other person resist, the best way is to change the situation. For example, "if two people fall in love and have premarital sex in love, what do you think about this?" The interviewee may be more willing to open up and say something from the bottom of his heart. According to the projection principle of psychology, what he talks about is probably his own views on premarital sexual behavior. When you are trying to persuade someone, it is best not to easily expose your purpose to others, as they will have a defensive mentality. When a person feels that they are being spied on or threatened, the desire to defend themselves can become very strong, and you can't expect to hear anything from the truth.
3. Techniques for diversifying in conversation
Sometimes, in order to prevent resistance from the other party, we need to shift the topic to other issues related to the purpose. For example, if you want to persuade someone to change jobs and go to your company, it's obviously silly to ask him directly if he wants to. You can first ask him, "What is the average monthly salary for a person with three years of service in your company?" Then tell him what this income level is like in your company. Such a conversation can effectively reduce the defense of the other party. You will obtain the information you want, and when you decide to persuade him, your words will be more persuasive.
4. Tips for getting the other person to tell the truth
If you were an interviewer, when you asked the interviewer, "What would you think if someone did the same thing as you, but their salary was twice as high as yours?" The interviewer would probably lie. However, if you change the question to "If someone does the same thing as you, but their salary is twice as high as yours, what mindset do you use to adjust yourself?" The interviewer's answer will reveal more true thoughts, as people are accustomed to solving the problems they want to solve.
Conclusion: Before preparing to expand your interpersonal circle, the most important thing you need to master is interpersonal skills. In this regard, research in interpersonal psychology is believed to be helpful in how you meet strangers and how to quickly eliminate the vigilance of strangers during communication.
