My husband and I have been married for more than ten years, and we have had a smooth and steady life. We have also had small quarrels, but we can accept both. Our marriage is still reasonable. His hobby is very unique, he likes collecting things, especially stamps, and he has collected many books. There are also some ancient coins that I often take out to sun with me when I have nothing to do. They look proud of themselves. In the past two years, when he heard that these things could be worth some money, he was so paranoid all day that he even omitted activities such as traveling. The reason was that he was worried about being stolen from his family and stealing his things.
In the first few years of marriage, although he had this hobby, he took care of me very much. During the annual tour held by the unit, he accompanies me to play and relax. "Now that we're old wives, he's just obsessed with his hobbies and hasn't gone out with us for years.". Even the children said, "The aunt and uncle next door have taken their son on a trip. When will you take me?"? "My husband either pushed back or said that traveling costs money, so it's better to buy something delicious and cost-effective.".
"I really hate him now. When I get home, I just entertain myself with his precious things, and I also hold the child to tell him the origin of each stamp.". If it goes on like this, I think I can only spend my next life with my child, and he accompanies his own stamps. Sometimes when anger comes up, I really want to burn his things with a torch. Looking back, it was his hard work, and I put up with it. "He has been doing this all the time, which is not the way. How can I persuade him to focus on his family?"?
Reply from the maintenance consultant:
Everyone has their own interests and specialties, and your husband's hobbies are different from yours, so you resent his behavior. From your account, it can be seen that his hobby has lasted for more than a decade. Only in recent years, when I heard about the value added of my collection, did I cherish it even more, even omitting the interaction between my family.
"Your emotions are very unstable. When he is happy, you constantly complain and complain, and even want to burn his beloved things. Have you ever thought about the consequences of doing so?"? Such thoughts and behaviors will only aggravate his antipathy towards you, and he will not have a sense of responsibility for his family.
It is recommended to communicate with your husband appropriately and with a positive and optimistic attitude. Complaining in a tone will only lead to rejection. Accompany him to integrate into your hobbies, and at the same time let him learn to integrate into your hobbies. This becomes a habit over time, and the unhappiness between you will gradually dissolve.