Post Date December, 03 2023
In the face of their partner's cheating, people's first reaction is often to be furious, and then to fall into the depression of self-denial. Some people will try to save the relationship, while others just want to divorce at all costs. An affair is the fuse that leads to emotional breakdown and family conflicts. We should stay away from it and not regret it for a lifetime because it is too fast. So, how should we deal with our partners when they have an affair?
From a psychological point of view, if a partner has an affair, it is just that he is using his actions to show his dissatisfaction with your marriage relationship and that your marriage relationship has been out of balance. If you can handle the affair well, sometimes it is an opportunity to promote the growth of your relationship, but if you can't handle it well, it will cause psychological and emotional damage to both parties, and make the relationship have to end - whether you like it or not.
So what are the precautions when dealing with the affairs of your partner?
First, don't pretend not to know when you find it, think he will come back on his own initiative, or think he will come back when he is "bored".
This is a very wrong idea. At the beginning of a relationship, people often do not immediately have deep feelings. If the East Window incident happens at this time, he often does not dare to make a desperate decision to divorce and stay with his girlfriend, because he is not sure whether the other party will make him happy, so he chooses to return to his family more. However, once they get along for a long time, and their feelings become deeper and deeper, it will be more difficult to let him leave. It is likely that he will get stuck in the mud and take the initiative to divorce.
Second, don't divorce at once without discrimination, but go to see what happened.
Perhaps his affair makes you feel that it hurts your self-esteem and makes you feel that your whole person is denied. This is a very bad feeling. But you still need to keep calm, try to find the root cause of his affair, and then ask yourself: Now he has made a choice for himself with action, what is your choice? Still love him? to save? Or decide to give up? It is very important for you to calmly think about your real thoughts, because the position and attitude of dealing with this matter later depend on it.
Third, do not enlarge the scope of the matter and try to narrow the scope of the insiders.
Even if your decision is to divorce, don't make his affair known to everyone. On the one hand, it is to protect your feelings - the more people around you interfere with you, the easier it is to make you suffer. If you still want to save this marriage, you should not let too many people know (especially parents, relatives and friends). This is to leave a good back door for your partner. Otherwise, even if he chooses to come back in the future, your relationship will be difficult to repair because of people's attention.
Fourth, although you are very painful and angry, don't let your emotions out of order.
You should know that even if you have children and have lived together for many years, it is undeniable that the object of the affair is more important to him than to you at this time (there is no need to deceive yourself at this time). If you blindly allow your emotions to vent in disorder, he will look at you as you are out of control. Compared with the gentle and considerate lover, his heart will be more inclined to the lover and think his choice is very correct.
Marriage is a matter of two people. When faced with a marriage crisis, it is far from enough to make efforts unilaterally. Sometimes, it is self-defeating. Whether the relationship can be reconciled depends on the basis of your relationship with your partner and the development stage of his relationship with the extramarital lover. If the partner's affair has lasted for a long time, and the cheating party proposes to divorce, then the possibility of marriage can be saved is very low - but not impossible.
