Post Date December, 03 2023
I remember a customer once asked me, "Lele, I like a sentence: Be better. But I always have a question in the bottom of my heart, how can I be called myself? What principles should we adhere to? I am a straightforward person, sometimes it is inevitable to cause trouble, but if I only live conservatively and lose a lot of happiness, how can I be myself?"
I believe that this question is also an answer that many people want to know. We often say that the greatest enemy of life is ourselves, so it is really a question whether to live in the eyes of others or to be brave.
Well, I also like this sentence. I remember that in the first Chinese class in high school, the Chinese teacher asked us what our wishes were. My answer at that time was this sentence: to be better. Many people will say, aren't you just being yourself? Is it someone else.
I smiled and remained silent because they didn't understand me. How can we be better ourselves? Let me give you an example. For example, I like singing, but in KTV, I will find that people who sing can basically be divided into the following types:
The first kind of people, who have been afraid to sing, are afraid of others laughing at themselves. Even if they sing, they are also reluctant to put it away;
The second kind of person, now that he is here, he should find a favorite song, pick up the microphone and start singing. He doesn't care whether his singing is out of tune or not, whether his voice is good or not, and whether someone pays attention to his applause, he is so happy and enjoys singing a song. It seems that singing has nothing to do with others, but whether he is happy or wants to sing. Think about it, Does this kind of person look very comfortable, because his relationship with himself is very comfortable;
The third kind of people, regardless of the endless singing, don't care about their out-of-tune roaring, and don't care about anything just for their own happiness. This kind of people, who are not good at socialization, are not cultured enough, or have a weak brain, don't call themselves;
So yes, the second talent is to be yourself, make yourself comfortable, and make others comfortable.
In fact, the order of education should be to teach us to accept ourselves completely, to make ourselves like ourselves, and then to teach us socialization, to understand how it is to be a social person, but often we are taught in the opposite direction, and before we learn to accept ourselves, we begin to be framed by teachers and parents with external eyes, "How do you see other people's children, and then look at you!".
So we slowly become people who don't like ourselves and have bad relations with others. Therefore, you should understand that no one's life can be copied. Only after we correctly understand and accept ourselves can we continue to improve and improve ourselves.
To become a better person is simply to become a person who has the best relationship with yourself, does not tangle with you at all, and does not have problems with yourself!
The meaning of "better" does not mean external evaluation, let others say you are excellent, good, and capable, but rather, it means that you feel "good", and you live more and more comfortable, truly
Many people will think that such a person is going his own way. In fact, I think that on the contrary, a person who really gives up external evaluation to be himself is a person who has real strength in his heart. Because he always knows how to be considerate of himself, give himself positive energy, do not hurt himself with negative things, and is not controlled by others saying whether he is good or not. The important thing is whether he feels good or not. So his heart is always smooth and harmonious, and what it shows outside will also be a comfortable state.
If you have a strong heart, you will not do evil. You will know more about temperance, and you will also know more about giving, forgiving, and thanksgiving. Isn't that a good person? People, only when they have no sense of security, can they do evil, claim, or even steal to occupy others!
Think about it. Isn't the so-called role of religion on people just to give strength to people who are powerless? With strength and strong spiritual support, he will naturally become good.
Therefore, if you have strength in your heart, it is like having faith, you will not become bad. The way to make yourself truly powerful is not to have someone love you well. If that person doesn't love you or is no longer there, will your world collapse? This is dependence, temporary comfort, not a way to gain strength in the heart. The way to make your heart really powerful is to be yourself, follow your heart and love yourself.
Some people in the world really get their sense of value by loving others, which sounds great. For example, some people treat love, some do public welfare, and some parents love their children, so they can really do without themselves; The same is true between lovers. Some love will make people love themselves. But from a psychological point of view, excessive pay is a kind of demand, and it is a way to satisfy themselves by others accepting their own pay. In fact, it is distorted. However, whatever is distorted, no matter how good the external appearance is, its essence is not good!
