How can I fill the loopholes in my marriage when my husband shakes a third party on WeChat

My husband and I have been married for ten years, and during these ten years, everything has been smooth and bumpy, which cannot be avoided. Since last year, I have noticed a change in him. Men in their late forties inexplicably began to enjoy wearing trendy clothes and taking selfies to show off on their social media. He also signed up for a fitness club and was determined to lose his protruding belly bag. I have reminded him multiple times to pay attention to his body shape, but I have never trusted him before. This time, I was surprised by the initiative to exercise and lose weight.

Once, unintentionally, I discovered that my husband often stays up late at night playing with his phone. The screen of the phone is turned off and the sound is turned off, and I can vaguely hear his joyful laughter. I never thought he would cheat, and our marriage has always been stable. I am not a woman who only understands comfort and enjoyment. When I first married into this family, my parents looked down on me and thought I was their son. My husband insisted and we got married. After marriage, through my own efforts, I started my career and gave birth to a son, gradually improving my status in this family. My husband looks at me with a new eye and always praises me when he meets people. Marrying me is his blessing. How could I have thought of him cheating in such a situation?

But his behavior of taking selfies, wearing high profile clothes, and constantly keeping his phone in hand, I have to doubt him. I flipped through his phone while he was asleep. This kind of sneaky thing is my first time doing it, my hands sweating nervously. Looking up some chat records, my hand slipped, my phone fell to the ground, and my husband woke up

He opened his eyes and looked at me in a daze. He saw the phone in my hand and suddenly woke up. His movements were rapid, almost snatching it from my hand. His level of nervousness confirms my suspicion. A man has 41 flowers, a woman has 40 tofu dregs. No matter how much I maintain it, it's not as young and beautiful as his little lover. Perhaps it was the first time he had done something wrong, but after I caught him, he didn't admit it. Quickly admitting to the fact of cheating, the third party was discovered through WeChat's "shake". I have met several times and had two relationships.

He was quite frank and admitted that he liked the feeling, it was fresh and exciting. At home, living a single life every day, he couldn't bring up sexual interest. After his affair was exposed, the relationship between the two naturally couldn't continue. I also chose to forgive him, but when I think of him rolling sheets with other women at night, I feel a wave of nausea in my heart, and I can no longer find the same feeling as before. For a man, he is just an affair, but for me, it is a shame. After ten years of marriage, I felt aggrieved when I thought about losing to the novelty and excitement that a stranger gave him. How can I regulate myself? If there are loopholes in my marriage, how can I make up for them?

Reply from Weiqing Consultant:

The loopholes in marriage are mainly reflected in their mediocrity. Marriage is not just about getting married, it's important to maintain it. If you choose to forgive on your lips, you will still not be able to pass the level of betrayal in your heart. Subconsciously, you will associate them with each other's scenes, and if you feel any discomfort, this annoying thing will come to your mind.

In marriage, no matter what problems arise, timely repair is the key. Since the matter has already come out, we should face it honestly. As long as the relationship between husband and wife is good, pay more attention to communication, have sufficient trust, and do not exaggerate the loopholes of marriage or complicate simple problems, in order to maintain the long-term of the marriage.