I sat in the hotel coffee shop enjoying the night view and drinking coffee, feeling someone approaching step by step, but I lazily didn't turn back. Strangely enough, that person has been standing beside me, making no noise or leaving. Finally, I couldn't help turning my head. I saw the surprise in the other person's eyes, "You're really Yingruo (alias)!" I tried to hide the fear in my eyes, but when I spoke, I was accompanied by an uncontrollable trembling: "Zishu (alias), why are you here?" "I've come to a meeting, haven't seen you for years, are you and Zhen'an (alias) okay?" I studied her carefully, her skin white, her eyes clear, and her posture still graceful, Years have not left a deep mark on her. "Fine, how about you?" I regained my composure and lowered my head for a sip of coffee. "She sighed and said, 'Not good, not bad.'"
That night, two women who had not seen each other for a long time chatted incessantly. She told me that she divorced after three years of marriage and had a child. Speaking of her ex husband, her expression was unusually calm: "I don't love him, so his departure cannot harm me." My hand holding the glass couldn't help but shake. From beginning to end, she didn't ask Zhen'an. I know she deliberately refrained from asking, because now, he is my husband.
She said goodbye and walked away, but I fell into memories. In those days, Zhen'an and Zishu loved each other so passionately and persistently, thinking that no one could separate them and that a lover would eventually become a family member. However, now, Zhen'an's wife is me, and no one can take him away!
After returning home from a business trip, Zhen'an picked me up at the airport, her face full of tenderness. "I've booked a seat. Today is your birthday, haven't you forgotten?" I walked forward and hugged him tightly. "Why, just a few days out and you miss me so much?" He smiled, but my mouth was bitter. In the evening, the atmosphere in that restaurant was quite good, and Zhen'an duly presented a birthday gift, which was an exquisite bracelet. When he lowered his head and carefully helped me put it on, my eyes warmed and I almost burst into tears. "I don't know whether it's right or wrong to exchange selfishness for happiness today.". "I met Zishu," I said softly. His hand paused, but he calmly clasped the chain. He smiled and asked, "How has she been these years?" I took a deep look at him. "She's divorced and has a child." I continued staring into his eyes. Unexpectedly, he just lightly said, "Oh, it's a pity." I immediately changed the topic, but still felt uneasy. Perhaps the more calm he behaved, the more turbulent the waves in his heart became.
In the following days, we went to work as usual, picking up and sending the children to and from school. It seemed that everything was calm, but I clearly felt the difference. For example, Zhen'an's smile was always a bit absent-minded; For example, he stiffened as he hugged me; For example, his words are becoming less and less, and he occasionally becomes dazed... My heart is becoming increasingly flustered. If he knows the truth, what will he do?
At the beginning, the three of us were close friends in the university, while I was a junior high school and senior high school classmate in Zhen'an. The two of us were like "brothers", so I watched their love sprout and end with enthusiasm. "If it weren't for their intimate embrace and telling me that they were in love, I wouldn't have realized that I had already fallen in love with Zhen'an.". Every smile and eye contact from them deeply hurts my heart, and I have to pretend to be happy! I had hoped in my dreams that they would break up, and I would firmly hold on and tell him that I love him.
The opportunity quickly arrived, because of a misunderstanding, Zhen'an could only return to his hometown to work after graduation. Watching them torture each other, the two quickly lost weight, and I didn't stand up to let their misunderstanding melt. The day before she left, Zishu handed me a thick letter with red eyes and said, "This is all she wants. If he forgives her, she will follow him immediately.". "I took it, as if holding a hot ball of fire in my hand, burning me in agony.". All night long, I didn't close my eyes, and I didn't give him the letter until the next morning. When Zhen'an and I walked out of the school together, I turned around and saw Zishu standing there from a distance. The despair in my eyes spread clearly. I dared not look again, so I quickly looked back.
For a period of time thereafter, every few days, Zishu would send me a letter asking me to forward it, and my reply said, "He read it and was indifferent.". Over the past few months, Zishu's letters accumulated in a thick stack. I piled them up in a heavy iron box, dust sealed in the last drawer of my desk. Later, Zishu cut off the information, and later, Zhen'an and I walked together.
Everything has been achieved, but my heart is always faint and uneasy. I always see Zishu's sad eyes and Zhenan's angry face in nightmares. Finally, one day, I confessed to him through drunkenness. I was afraid that if I didn't say it again, my heart would burst. I am like a child, burying my head in Zhen'an's arms and crying until the sky darkens. I waited for his rebuke, even the worst outcome. "But he calmly stroked my back and said, 'I already knew.'" I looked up at him in amazement. ". He gently patted me on the head and said, "When I went to your house to help Dad fix the water faucet, he suddenly wanted to find photos of his former comrades in arms. I helped him find them. On the last floor of your desk, I saw the box of letters... It's silly, I didn't even know to destroy the corpse after doing something bad." "So... don't you hate me?" I asked trembling. "It's not that I didn't feel angry. During that time, I got sick for this reason. But when I think of your kindness to me and our children, I want to let them go. When you miss the sun and only know how to shed tears and grieve, you will miss the beautiful stars." I hugged him tightly and could only use tears instead of words.