Post Date December, 03 2023
I am a teacher and the head teacher of the senior three graduating class. The curriculum is tight. My husband works as a supervisor in a factory. We work in two cities respectively, and only live a couple's life on weekends. He is a sullen gourd. He hides everything in his heart and won't say anything. Our husband and wife have been fighting for nearly ten years. During the May Day holiday, my husband had to work overtime to catch up with the goods. I took my child to the factory to visit relatives. I brought a lot of food and gave it to his workmates. Several of his workmates called me "sister-in-law and sister-in-law", and one of them kindly reminded me that my husband and a little girl in the factory were very close, and did not live in the factory dormitory several times. I was half convinced. The workman saw that I didn't believe him and pointed him out to me.
In the evening, he opened a hotel near the factory. We were separated for more than a week. He didn't touch me. He took a bath and lay on the bed. He talked with me without salt or salt. My mind is full of what my co-worker said to me. I can't hide my words in my heart. I want to ask him to understand and directly ask him if he has an affair. He didn't admit it. I told him the gossip I heard in the morning. He simply explained it as that the workmates deliberately teased him and made fun of him. But I can clearly feel his nervousness in a minute. I smoke one cigarette after another to cover up my anxiety. I couldn't find the result, so I went through his wardrobe while he went to work, hoping to see some clues.
I rummaged through the boxes and found no evidence except a few clothes. Suddenly I remembered that the casual clothes he wore last time he left home seemed to have disappeared. He is wearing work clothes at work, not on his body. I questioned him again with questions. In fact, my husband is an honest man in his heart. I admitted it when I blew him up. I asked him if he left the coat he wore last time at someone else's house. After hearing what I said, he was so nervous that his cup fell to the ground and splashed all over the floor. His response was obviously a matter of conscience. He also noticed that I didn't trust him and admitted that there was someone outside.
I can understand that it is hard for a man to work outside without the care of a woman. But extramarital affairs are a cup of poison that can poison our marriage. I tried to restrain myself from shouting, and calmly told him about the harm of marriage and the impact of divorce on children, so that he would not destroy the whole family for his own sake. I tried my best, but he never said a word or said what he thought. I asked for a divorce in silence, but he didn't want to. I made him break with the third party, and he kept silent.
Because there are many things that need to be handled by me in the senior three graduating class. On the third day of the holiday, I took my children home. The problem between me and him has not been clearly solved. When I left, I secretly asked the worker to remind my worker and ask him to watch my husband for me. From his observation, my husband has been very honest recently, and there is no situation of staying up late at night. It's summer vacation now. I often go to him every day or two. He hates me now and says I'm spying on him. He doesn't give me a clear guarantee. How can I feel at ease. I feel insecure. The quality of sleep at night is very poor. I feel like I'm going to collapse. What should I do? Help me.
Reply from the consultant:
Hello. You and your husband are separated from each other, and you only have the chance to meet on weekends. Without continuous care for your feelings, it is easy to have problems. And in your narration, you mentioned that you are the teacher of the senior three graduating class. The college entrance examination is related to the fate of students' life. In the process of teaching, you must spend most of your time on students. You can't care about the relationship between husband and wife. He was found cheating by you and showed silence and didn't want to explain more. On the one hand, he felt that it was very comfortable to fill the feeling of loneliness with a third party, and he didn't want to give up; On the other hand, as a husband and father, he did something against his conscience, and he could not argue.
After being baptized by wind and rain, any emotion will always appear dull and pale, and his long-term separation has caused his burnout of marriage. At the moment you asked for divorce, he didn't agree. It can be seen that he was looking for a stimulus in this extramarital affair, but he was not ready for divorce. You secretly find someone to monitor him and believe that he can detect that he is now converging is a good sign. Take this opportunity to find out the loopholes in your marriage, try to solve the problem of your separation, maintain good communication with your husband, and let your feelings cool down and rise rapidly.
Of course, you should also be prepared. On the other hand, you should investigate the identity and background of the third party, master the evidence of cheating between your husband and her, and warn the third party that you will not leave your husband. Don't waste your time on your husband. If your husband is obsessed and hard to wake up in the later stage, then get ready for the divorce to win the husband and wife's property, so as not to take the step of divorce in the future, and your life will not be guaranteed. In short, we should protect our rights and interests and not let ourselves be hurt.
