Post Date December, 02 2023
It is right to find fault. Paul Eastwick of Northwestern University of the United States found that the more critical people are, the easier they are to get the attention of the opposite sex. "This is not difficult to understand. To be picky is to make it easier for one person to have your heart, while making others feel unreachable. Although this increases the difficulty of love, the more difficult it is to get, the more valuable it will be."
A marriage full of challenges is stable. Many couples believe that a happy sex life, mutual love, understanding and consideration are the foundation of a stable marriage. But Eastwick found that the key to a happy life is the mutual cooperation in daily life. If marriage continues to face challenges, over time, both parties can form a set of coping system, and when problems arise, they can overcome them clearly. The "challenge" here is not necessarily a major change such as the crisis of marriage, but rather a matter of moving and job-hopping.
While praising, don't forget to pour cold water. Your response to the good news brought by your spouse is very important. This is the research result of Sherry Gable, associate professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. She recorded 79 couples talking about positive and negative events in their daily life, and divided their reactions into four categories: active destruction (such as "Are you sure you can do that job well"); Negative destruction (silence, changing topic); Passive and constructive (say "good" absently); And proactive and constructive ("I'm proud of you, but you may have to pay attention to some issues"). Surprisingly, an active and constructive attitude can promote the relationship between husband and wife to the greatest extent.
Optimize the relationship in 60 seconds. For those couples who are overworked and busy, it is advisable to list the things that can be completed in one minute, such as telling a joke, a long kiss, etc. Frenkel, director of the Ekman Family Research Institute in New York, suggested that couples should squeeze out three "one minute" every day, which not only strengthens the sense of closeness, but also greatly reflects their concern for each other.
Marriage requires physical examination. James Cordova, an associate professor of psychology at Clark University in Massachusetts, said that the research team had designed a marriage medical examination procedure to find and consolidate the weak links in the relationship. Physical examination involves all aspects of marriage, including breakfast habits and whether you will sleep late on weekends. At the same time, it is also suggested that couples should ask themselves three questions every year: Does the partner rest assured in front of me and show his fragile feelings; Does the partner feel recognized; Can I get full support from my partner when my life is unhappy. Even if one answer is no, it also shows that your marriage relationship is a little tense.
(Intern editor: Cai Junyi)
