Post Date December, 02 2023
Men and women who once loved each other can grit their teeth in hatred, become ordinary and indifferent, or become close friends after they parted ways. If you don't want to see it, you will disappear. If you accidentally see it, you will become an ordinary friend. Maintaining this mindset can sometimes be a relief for both parties after a divorce, and sunshine and happiness will stay in your heart.
1. Hate in the bosom
Maybe it was not her intention to break up, so after having to accept this reality, she, together with the man, was full of hatred for this marriage, complained to all her friends about his bad disloyalty and irresponsibility, and spread hatred in all possible spaces... Nobody can mention him in front of her. This topic is definitely a ticking time bomb scenario, and it may be blown black if you are not careful.
Narration
There is no need to bring personal privacy emotions to the surrounding environment, and no one has the obligation to share them for you. The hatred caused by divorce is considered normal in the short term, but if it continues, it will not have any benefits for one's future health and life. Especially if you have children, it is even more important to consider the bearing capacity of children who are not yet reasonable. Hatred only allows children to grow up in a lack of trust and security.
2. Ordinary friend
In fact, all the past cannot be easily erased, and one cannot be a husband and wife. There is no need to be an enemy, and one does not want to continue pestering and fighting. So, just be an ordinary friend. Being an ordinary friend, if at ease or without, should be the best state of EX. His life is no longer related to you, and yours is also, but it does not rule out occasional care and greetings. Of course, there is no need to prepare gifts for him on birthdays or Valentine's Day. However, when we need help, you and he are not unable to appear openly in front of each other.
Narration
Being a friend again requires a bit of generosity and magnanimity. In fact, there is still a good example. Xie Xian and Deborah Lee have been divorced for decades. When we meet at the party, we will still take a group photo in front of the media, and will make a consistent external declaration on the growth of a pair of children. Why can't I come back to you after a divorce? A better situation than this is that you cannot be a husband and wife, but it is entirely possible to be a confidant, or no one knows you better than him, and when you encounter trouble, he may even provide you with the most practical and feasible advice.
3. Maintenance type
Because he had been his wife before, he had to bear the responsibility of support, and she also automatically had the right to be supported. Especially with children, she would have more reason to consult with her ex husband every day to discuss issues such as decoration, interest classes, travel, and vacation. She rarely considers her own life. Under the guise of being supported, she wanders between herself and her ex husband's two families, enjoying it tirelessly. She may even point fingers at her ex husband's new girlfriend and doesn't mind going straight to her ex husband's house to ask for evaluation after the shopping.
Narration
This type of ex-wife has not yet fully accepted the current situation, with a typical life and emotional dependency. She is not without negative emotions towards divorce, but it is not strong. Because her ex-husband has taken on all the responsibility for support, she still feels that her ex-husband has a reason to share all the details of life for her, as she did before. This approach may be biased, and the relationship with my ex husband cannot be as it used to be! From now on, learning to manage one's own life is the best strategy.
4. Casual passersby
Since we have broken up, it indicates that there is a real reason why we can't continue with each other. Since that's the case, why bother pretending to be friends again? Don't even have hatred, embarrassment, nostalgia, or concern, just pretend to have never known this person, or just consider him as someone you once knew. From then on, her life was no longer related to him, including pain and happiness, aging and illness. How simply and unrestrained was this approach?
Narration
Independent urban women can definitely do it. By changing their homes, companies, and phone numbers, they can create an event of human evaporation. But doing so was deliberate, and besides, did you abandon all your former friends in order to cut off contact with your ex husband? The most handsome thing is still the presence in the eyes and the absence in the heart. Information about him does not need to be deleted from WeChat or mobile phone directories. Whenever I see and think of him, my heart only faintly knows: this person was once important, but now it is not!
5. Weekend family kiss
Children make everything more complicated. No matter who the child is assigned to guardianship after divorce, you have no right to prevent the child from growing up in an environment that lacks love from either party. Everything starts with the growth needs of the child, which will make your relationship more natural and enjoyable. Because of having children, you and your ex husband may never truly "break up". There are too many problems you need to face together, and instead of being cold and harsh, it's better to create a warm scene of family reunion on weekends, especially during school parent-child activities. It's best for you and him to participate together.
Narration
Bring your child to your side on weekends or holidays, and if possible, don't refuse to let them participate together; If the child is under your guardianship, you can also arrange some play plans in a timely manner, discuss with your ex husband first, and then invite the child in person - the advantage of doing so is that it will minimize the trouble divorce causes for the child's growth, and also make you no longer alone in the child's education issues. This is of great significance for single mothers.
