Doing these seven things quietly after marriage will make him more and more inseparable from you
People all want to know what secret can keep the marriage fresh, keep the relationship between husband and wife at a comforting heat, and keep the life happy. However, there is no unified answer to this question.
At present, there are not many truly happy couples. Most couples are "making do", and do not realize the highest level of marital relationship, "the intimate relationship between two lovers". Many couples have taken the "boring life habit" of "one day is one day" as the normal state of marriage, and think that marriage should be like this, which is a misunderstanding. In fact, marriage can be more intimate and sweet, It's just that many of us started to manage marriage without learning how to manage marriage at all.
So, is there any secret to sweet marriage? The answer is yes.
The first element: change is always yourself.
You can't expect the other party to make changes. You can't change anyone except yourself. But when you really change some of your behavior habits, you will find that everything around you has also undergone subtle changes, including the intimate relationship between you and your lover.
The second element: the relationship between husband and wife is more important than that between parents and children.
Don't take your child as your favorite. When you put all your body and mind on your child, your relationship between husband and wife begins to grow apart, which is very bad. Children will grow up and have their own lives, and the people who accompany you through life should be your favorite.
The third element: pay attention to details.
Always keep in mind that men and women are fundamentally different, so we should always manage the relationship based on the needs of each other, and do not always ask for love with our own standards.
The fourth element: learn to appreciate and praise.
Pay attention to each other's progress and say what is worth appreciating. Everyone likes to listen to nice words. Men like to listen to words that "he is important" and "can't do without him", which give him face;
Women like to listen to "you cherish her" and "make her happy". At the same time, in life, their eyes are always looking at each other's advantages. That kind of husband and wife is the happiest.
The fifth element: learn to listen.
A prerequisite for mutual trust and trust. God gave us two ears and one mouth to tell us to speak less and listen more. Listening can make people feel comfortable. At the same time, only those who have the ability to listen can find the real solution to the problem, and can cure the problem at one time.
If a husband and wife who do not have the ability to listen is actually the wrong communication mode of "contending for right and wrong". The home is a place of reasoning, not a place of reasoning. As long as the family contends for right and wrong, the family will be far away from warmth and harmony. In fact, managing the family is to encounter any problem, "no right or wrong, just consider how to be better in the future". The premise of all this is "learn to listen".
The sixth element: treat each other with respect.
Think of your lover as a temporary guest. Remember "the closer you are, the more you hurt" - intimacy is proportional to the degree of injury! Don't think that a couple can ignore everything at will. The more casual they are, the more likely they will be hurt. "Respect each other as a guest" is a very high level in marriage management, but many people will say that "they are still so fake" and don't work in this direction.
The seventh element: turn criticism into evaluation.
Only when there are reasonable suggestions can we evaluate each other's shortcomings. If you want to say that others are not good, you should give reasonable suggestions and opinions without emotion. The suggestions and things you give must be "emotionless", "operable" and "slow"; This is how the other party can accept your suggestion and one thing. Criticism is subjective and evaluation is objective.